#i remember doing a thing similar to this towards the end of last year. might go compare how much has changed... or NOT changed dfghjk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lunarlando · 3 months ago

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girl dad lando doing his babygirl's hair (she has his curls for sure hehe)!! he struggles a little but does a decent job at the end ~ maybe following a tutorial video or wifey is guiding him but creative freedom to you ❤️

so cute, thanks for the request! x

feel free to request more :)

“You’re in charge of one thing before we have to leave for brunch with your family.”

Lando glances up from where he's laid out on the carpet tickling a wildly giggling Estelle to see you with your hands on your hips.

You’re still one of the many shirts of his that you’ve resorted to using as pajamas since your currently seven month pregnant belly has popped, and you’re looking at him very pointedly, but he still smiles fondly at the sight of you. It’s just an unconscious thing that his face does, that it’s been doing since the day he met you.

“Mama!” Estelle squeals, pointing at you excitedly.

“Hi, my darling!” You wiggle your fingers at her, beaming at your little girl with enthusiasm.

“What’ve you got for me, babe?”

“Be the best husband ever and do your daughter’s hair.”

“Pretty sure I already am the best husband ever, but alright. Reckon her hair looks just fine the way it is, don’t you think?” He aims a sideways glance towards the toddler. Estelle’s hair is an exact replica of her father’s, tight curls that like to do whatever they want, as evident by the tornado of brown framing her chubby cheeks at the moment. Lando smacks his lips together, bobbing his head understandingly. “Yeah, okay, I’ll try my best.”

“Thank you, love.”

He scoops Estelle off the floor with an over-exaggerated grunt, climbing to his feet with her slung over his shoulder the way she always loves to be held by him. She shakes with peals of cute toddler giggles, patting him on the back surprisingly firm for a one year old, making him groan. “Woah, you’re getting so big and strong, Stell! C'mon, let’s go do your hair.”

You press a grateful kiss to his cheek as he passes you, booping Estelle’s nose playfully before they make their way down the hall to the bathroom.

Lando sets Estelle down on the bathroom counter, squinting at the items you’ve left next to the sink for him. A few combs, a small brush, a tiny water mister thing that he has no idea what to do with.

As if you sense he’s confused, you call from the bedroom, “D’you need some help getting started?”

“No, no. I’ve got this,” He calls back, grabbing a comb off the counter. “Dada’s got this, doesn’t he, lovebug?”

Estelle is too preoccupied with looking at herself in the mirror to hear him, though if she did, she probably would’ve said no. He has no idea how to do her hair. Sure, he knows how to do his own hair (barely), and hers is similar to his, but it’s different.

He pulls up the photo album he’s got on his phone of pictures of Estelle—ones he’s taken, ones you’ve sent him whilst he was away—hoping one of them will help him draw inspiration for today’s look.

One that particularly catches his eye is a photo from the mini holiday you all took during summer break a few months ago, where Estelle’s springy curls are pulled into two bunches towards the top of her head. From what he remembers, those bunches quickly ended up smeared with applesauce, but they were adorable while they lasted.

“Think this might be the one, how ‘bout you?” Lando turns the phone towards Estelle, showing her the photo. She aims a gummy smile at him, wiggling around happily. “Yeah, s’cute, innit? Alright, here we go.”

—

“Babe, would you c’mere for a second?”

Lando’s voice rings out from the bathroom after twenty minutes of silence, save for the occasional giggle. You’re all done getting ready, and as much as you want to pop your head in to see what’s happening, you’ll give your husband the benefit of the doubt. You pad down the hallway as fast as your pregnancy waddle will let you, not knowing what to expect.

“How’s it going in here, my loves?”

Lando stands back with his hands propped on his hips, head tilted. “I think I did pretty decent, no?”

Estelle’s got two tiny sort of space buns on her head, a little messy, but better than you were expecting, given Lando’s inexperience. She leans in your direction upon laying eyes on you, making grabby hands at you until you scoop her up. You shift her in your arms so she can see herself in the large mirror.

“Look, baby! Who’s that over there?” You coo encouragingly, pointing at her in the mirror with a big smile. Estelle mumbles something unintelligible, patting herself on the chest happily. “That’s right, it’s you! Dada did a fantastic job with your hair, didn’t he? You look so cute!”

Lando tosses the comb he’s holding behind his back and up over his shoulder, catching it and pretending to run it through his own curls in one smooth motion. “Call me Stell’s personal professional hairstylist.”

He’s serious about it too, giving a straight face until you manage to come up with a response.

“Is the racing not working out for you? Had to find another job?” You joke, chuckling lightly. He scoffs, bumping your hip with his. You reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek, then hold Estelle up too. “Give dada a kiss?”

Estelle knows the word kiss very well. Execution, not so much, but she tries her best as she plants what has to be the world’s wettest kiss to Lando’s cheek too. A younger Lando might’ve wiped the slobber away immediately, but dad Lando has no problem with it. He’s changed a lot since his younger days, especially since becoming a first time parent.

You’re both still navigating that journey together, but you’ll have a year and then some more experience once baby girl number two makes her arrival in t-minus two months time. But for now, you’ll cherish every moment with Estelle before your focus is split between two kids.

“Oh, thank you for the kiss, lovebug!” Lando chirps, booping her nose gently. “Usually I’d charge top dollar for a mint hairdo like this, but I’ll take that as payment since you’re so cute. You get it from your mum, don’t ya?”

“I dunno about that,” You hum, leaning into him. “Her dad’s pretty cute too.”

You don’t have it in you to tell him one of Estelle’s bunches sits higher than the other, not when he’s smiling down so proudly at the two of you like you’re his world.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #dad!lando norris x reader #girl dad!lando norris #girl dad!lando norris x reader #dad!lando norris x wife!reader #dad!lando norris #ln4 x reader #lando thoughts 💭

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yandere-sins · 2 months ago

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Monstober - Day 1: Chimera

I had a daydream similar to this for a while and since I recently watched "Damsel" I thought human sacrifice was the way to go for day one of my challenge (Words you can only say on the internet, not in real life--) ♥ Enjoy!

Prompt: Chimera | Mixed // Misunderstood // Insanity Warnings: (Monster!)Yandere, Fem!Reader, Stabbing, Blood Mention, Dying Mention (no character death), Human sacrifice, Mention and Description of Monster (obviously), Long Post

"No... no, no, please no!"

"It is necessary for our future. For the kingdom."

There was reluctance in his voice; his eyes that he kept forward were fogged with inexplicable horror, his hand trembling around your wrist. But his grip didn't loosen, no matter how much you shook, tore, pulled—he didn't give you a chance to escape the fate he had sealed for you.

"Father..." you sobbed, stumbling over your own feet, your heels dragging the carpet with them as you planted them firmly into the fabric ground. You wanted to believe in the pain you had seen in his eyes when the clerics told your father what to do. Tried to believe he didn't mean to do this cruel thing to his one and only daughter, the last family he had. But you also remembered how his face hardened after the initial shock, how he made peace with this decision that he claimed was unavoidable, no matter how much it pained him.

"There will be no one left! If you continue like this, you'll be all alone!" you cried, the guards lowering their heads shamefully as you two passed them in the hallway in an unfit manner for royals. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save you or stand in the king's way to do their duty towards the princess they had protected all their life. You knew each of their names, the helms they were ordered to wear to hide their shame, not sparing them from being recognized.

"Brother is gone, Mother is gone! You'll have no one! There must be another way! There must be something we can do against this monster!"

No one would meet your gaze as you pleaded for your life.

Your fate was sealed.

Crying even harder, you collapsed to the ground, being pulled forward only by your father, whose eyes drooped heavy with tears. The years had worn him down, and the rising of an ancient creature had been the last thing his poor heart could take. Before you wasn't the king you once knew, the father you adored. It was but a poor, old man who had lost everything to one misery after the other.

And yet, he didn't waver, didn't stop. He turned around only to pick you up from the ground, setting you back on your feet, giving your pain no ounce of attention before continuing to drag you to the monster's cave. Down, down below the castle, until you were both drowning in the darkness and your sorrow. It was hard to hate your father, hard to hate the people that once loved you, when all they knew now was fear of a force no one had ever witnessed but the clerics had deemed to be the wrath of the gods.

"It's your duty," your father choked forth, a third down the endless staircase where it was as dark and suffocating as you imagined death would be.

"And who will you sacrifice next? Another noble? Another child? When will it end, Father?"

Coming to a standstill on the stairs, you heard your father gulp. It was the only moment of respite he granted you, and you should have used it to break free and run away. He was old, and you were not; he might have let you go, seeing as you were the last of his family left. But you didn't. Both of you were duty-bound, even if that meant killing you. You knew the answer to your own question, unable to bear the truth and the misery your escape would cause upon the kingdom you loved almost as much as your father did.

"When the monster is satisfied," he replied sorrowfully, unable to give you the exact amount of sacrifices it would need. No more words needed to be spoken, and as you two descended the staircase, his hand slipped from your wrist, but your legs didn't stop.

Truthfully, your knees were nearly collapsing from fear, and your instincts screamed at you to flee. But when you embraced the country as the future ruler after the disappearance of your brother and your mother, you swore to protect it. You swore to be who they needed, and what they needed was this. A sacrifice.

You had to catch yourself a few times on the stone walls that encased you on your descent. A few times you considered abandoning everything. But what would happen to your people? What would happen to everyone you held dear, who believed in you all your life and supported you unconditionally?

The betrayal of your own father, willing to sacrifice you, was worse than any assassination attempt and hurt more than the wounds of loss inflicted on you by the very same man who promised you to do everything to unite your family again. But you weren't that stupid, never believed a word when he told you they ran away, abandoned you two. As you walked down these stairs, it became abundantly clear that he had lied. That everyone had lied. The more you thought about it, the more it was obvious what happened.

You were not the first in this long line of sacrifices.

But when the soldiers announced the beast was ravaging the villages again, the people demanded a solution, and the clerics swore that only a noble sacrifice could satisfy the beast's hunger. Another one. And now, another one. What was your father supposed to do? How could he refuse? How could you?

Two lamps welcomed you in front of the sturdy doors, the only way to keep the monster out. The stale air choked you as you stood before them. They showcased an impressive number of ancient runes carved into them for protection. The handles were clean, and the runes seemed to have been re-carved recently. You began to shake uncontrollably at its sight, your mind unable to comprehend it was going to die but knowing that these stone doors were all that separated you from your fate.

Only now did you hear your father's sobs and watched him come undone as you two stood in front of the entrance to the cave that housed this terrible creature for centuries. Without thinking, you reached out your hand, wanting to rub his back, perhaps find comfort for yourself in the touch. But at the last second, you withdrew, the betrayal too tremendous, and this gesture not changing anything besides making it harder to let go.

He pushed onwards as if driven by an invisible force. Your heart couldn't understand the dissonance between his actions, the crying yet complying. But your head did. And as much as fear was gripping you, as much as you wanted to flee, you followed him warily, driven by the same force whilst harboring the same tears in your eyes. You were both mourning the now, past, and future. The pain was almost too much to bear.

With all his strength—which seemed like none in this haggard, old body of his—your father grabbed the handle of one of the stone doors, the grating sound of it shaking you to the core as he pushed it open just a gap. He couldn't and wouldn't open it further, not risking more than he already did by offering your life in exchange for peace.

"Go," he ordered, sounding tired of life, as if it was his turn to go. "Go, I'll bear witness."

You noticed the chair by the lamp, the wood new and the cushions still whole. How many hours, how many days, had your father sat here, listening to the monster? Making sure the door was locked after sacrificing his family one by one? Witnessed the horror, the screams?

Something inside of you told you he sat there for many days and would sit for many more, as was his duty as the king who sacrificed his people. You couldn't place his pain above yours but knew you couldn't run either. Was this how your brother and mother felt as well? Did they want to leave but couldn't, despite feeling so, so hurt and betrayed? Your father did it for the greater good, but did he have to be so heartless about it?

You stood before the gap, only darkness awaiting you, suddenly frozen when you felt his hand at the small of your back, still warm, still caring. For a moment, he was your father. For a moment, you wanted to believe he acted in your best interest, not the kingdom's. For a moment, you still loved him more than anyone else.

"Forgive me," your father whispered, and you dared to look back over your shoulder when you felt the sudden pang of pain in your side, the betrayal so loud it overtook all your senses with the sound of your body being sliced open.

With a knife in your side, you were pushed forward, gasping and sputtering as the pain zapped through your veins. More tears welled up in your eyes as you collapsed to the ground, feeling the rumble of the door being shut behind you. This time, you did look back, but all you could see was the red light of the torches through your tears before you were plunged into darkness, the grating of the stone doors echoing from all around you.

So much anger, so much frustration welled up in these last moments of your life. The betrayal made you scream, but as the sound left your throat, you realized the strength you had gained from the pain. Although unsteady and frantic, you got to your feet, your hand catching onto the wall to your right, guiding you through the entrance. You were driven by nothing but betrayal and anger, even as the pain weaved its way through your body, making every step harder to endure.

Logically, you knew it was mercy. That the intention had been for you to die before the monster could get to you. A monster no one had ever seen, ever survived to tell the tale of. And although it was the only explanation for all the misery your country had to endure, if you ever wanted to forgive your father and die honorably, you had to see it for yourself, witness its existence before your death. You grabbed the knife, but you realized it hurt too much at the first miserable tug. That you couldn't possibly get it out. Even though you had nudged it a little, you decided to leave it there, allow it to give you some time.

Finding light at the end of the tunnel was a surprise you didn't expect. Stepping out into a cave without a roof, showcasing the gray sky, and bathing you in a light drizzle was not the scenery you expected to die in. There was no way out but through the hole in the ceiling, yet you didn't remember where this place could possibly be in the kingdom, just that it was impossible to escape. How could anything survive here, with walls too smooth to climb out and just a carved-out pit to hide from the weather?

You noticed there was hay in the pit, still dry, but not much else except for dirt and stone all around you. You expected bones and clumps of flesh, gore, and vile. The hallway you had come from was shrouded in darkness, but there was no going back, that much you knew. You took another step forward, into the light, and immediately, you were hit with dizziness, your body falling forward, but you caught your balance just in time. Seeing your own blood dripping onto the wet floor, robbed you of the last bits of strength you had gathered, and ultimately, you sunk to the dirty floor, hitting it on your side.

So this is it, you thought as you lay there, realizing there never had been a monster. No monster could have escaped from this inescapable place and caused havoc. It was simply a place to get rid of people in the name of sacrifice. All this time, part of you had defended your father in your mind, but you had been wrong in the end. And it had led to your doom, your death so unfitting of you. Had you not been a good princess? Had you not offered help and support wherever you could, gotten your hands dirty for those in need, and lived humbly while being kind? Was that the reason they had to get rid of you? Because you just had not been the kind of person they wanted to give the throne to, not as ruthless and stern as your father?

The ground shook around you, but you were too tired to flinch, to even react. It was strange; the continuous pattern of rain had been interrupted as the day seemed to darken above you. You tried to twist your head, focus your gaze, and make out what happened, but it was hard to understand what you were seeing.

"So what would you do if you could do it all over again?" a voice asked. It made you wary, even if you barely had the strength left to care. Deep and gravely, you felt the ground shake under your barely conscious mind. Was it a man? A woman? Were they talking to you? Where did they come from?

"Wouldn't you hunt them down, kill them for what they did to you, destroy every bit of the land they cherished over you?"

Someone—something—completely blocked out the light shining down from above. A shadow so dark it turned day into night. The rain stopped completely just as your breathing began to be labored, shallow. You tried to focus, tried to make it out. The shapes of the body made no sense. Round, triangle, rectangles. A face, wings, paws. It smelled wet and rotten next to the stinging metallic of your own blood. Foul, yet sweet. The body reminded you of a beast, but when its face drew closer, it was that of an angel whose expression was not right yet so familiar in its pain.

Oh, god, you thought. It's real. The monster is real.

"Wouldn't you return their gestures? Take the same things away from them that they have from you? Their food, their freedom, their family? Tell me, little princess, would you not destroy the very things they worked so hard for, build on top of the corpses of those you love?"

It leaned down a little more, and you couldn't help but hitch a breath. Razor-sharp teeth and slitted eyes, their glow so harsh with all the darkness around you. You felt the breath of the creature wave over your throat—it was this close. Close enough to bite, crunch, and break through your pitiful bones. And yet, despite the venom it spewed, you heard only the miserable truth of those who were wronged. This thing, whatever it was, in all its gruesome, beautiful features, was the same as you were. Mourning the same things, raging for the same reasons.

But as you used the last bits of your strength to think about it, you realized you couldn't agree. You were angry and betrayed, but whatever this creature was, so strange, so different, it was real. You had not been lied to. And it must be deadly, just by the looks of its teeth and claws, so naturally, people would fear it. Naturally, they'd do what they could to get rid of it. How could you blame them for being afraid when you, most of all, knew how terrifying it was?

"Maybe..." you croaked, forcing the word from your throat. "Maybe I'd try to change things next time. No more betrayal. No more sacrifice. Peace. Understanding."

Your father would have called you his sweet, gentle daughter had he heard you. But you were dying, so why should you care if your answer was a bit naive? You didn't want anyone to go through what you had to go through; feel what you felt. Not even the monster. And who knew? Maybe it was no monster at all, just because it looked different.

"Hmm?" the voice coaxed, withdrawing in movements that were too sharp for its human parts, its manners so bird-like and not just because of the wings that fluttered and puffed expectantly. You realized it wasn't just one thing as you heard claws scraping impatiently over the ground. Huge paws settled on either side of your body as the creature hovered above you. It could crush you with the immense size of its body, but you couldn't help but reach out, feeling the soft fur of its leg against your fingertips.

"Because next time, I'd not be helpless. I'd not fear you more than I fear my father. Next time, surely... I'd try to do better..."

"Hmm? Hmmm?" The creature kept coaxing more from you, not realizing that you lost conscience by the fading of your voice.

"Interesting," it chittered after a moment of silence. Ears perked to hear your heart slowing while your hand fell off its paw. Its own hand reached out, the round of its claws brushing up your palm until it could intertwine your fingers, your hand barely big enough to meet the requirements to be held by theirs.

It sniffed the air, the smell of blood pungent.

"Interesting," it repeated, chuckling as it grabbed you by the arm, its free hand dedicating two oversized fingers to grab the knife. It wasted no time lifting you high into the air at its eye level before pulling the knife out of you and discarding it over its human shoulder.

"I'll hear what you have to say, little princess. Wish to learn if you could be different from all of us. But first, you must heal. Must stop the bleeding. Humans are so fragile."

It tutted as it carried you over to its resting space, and your body jerked as the blood gushed from the stab wound. It truly seemed to be the end for your bloodline as you were laid safely between the monster's paws, settled to be either tended to or eaten. But at least you wouldn't have to witness it.

You'd not die a monster like everyone else.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

"Is it done?"

Despite your senses only partially having returned, you recognized the voice that woke you from slumber. It was the same exhausted, whiney voice that had fooled you into obeying. Your father. The king.

You felt like you were still dying, wetness spreading over your back as pressure rubbed it all over your skin. It almost felt like a massage, but it was nowhere as relaxing, not with your body still in a state of deadly distress. Even if you weren't dying, it sure felt like it all over again.

"It sure is, my king. You finally managed to satisfy me with your puny sacrifices. This one is much better than the last."

This time, the voice was much closer, so cut-throat close, in fact, it raised goosebumps on your skin. The "massage" stopped, and you heaved a breath, but your body barely moved. The sarcasm in the voice, however, didn't go unnoticed. You were witnessing a conversation, much more than participating, but undoubtedly, the topic was you.

"By the gods... don't tell me you plan to--"

"Eat her?"

You remembered now. It was the voice of the monster. Memories flooded back to the forefront of your thoughts, memories of the questions it asked, memories of what it looked like. It hurt to think about it. The fear that returned made it all the more painful.

"No, I will not eat her," it laughed gently as if it was careful not to wake you. "I only eat the corrupted. Minds like yours that would sacrifice his whole family. Minds like mine that want only what is equal to me. You wouldn't understand. You are just human."

"I don't understand, you made me do this! I only did what you forced me to! You wouldn't stop killing even when I begged you to! It was you who forced me to sacrifice my family!"

A shiver went through the creature. You felt it all around you, making you realize it was all around you. Slowly, you managed to open your eyes. The thought of why am I not dead crossed you as you laid still, barely able to see through the gaps between your lids. All you witnessed was the soft light barely grazing you, the shadow of the king interrupting it even though you could barely see over the massive paw that secured you in place.

"Do not blame me for your doings, human. Have you forgotten what those gods of yours did to me? What your ancestors begged them to do to me? I am only giving back to those who wronged me, and you are to appease me if you wish to live. I made you this; a man, a king. I can take it from you as I please."

Arms snaked around you, human in shape but too long, wrapping around your body in ways you had never been hugged before. Lifting you, cradling you, a fully-grown adult, like a child. Your eyes fell close again as you were nestled against soft fur, with a sturdy body beneath, but the hold on you was so gentle that it made you want to fall asleep again.

"But you are lucky, for I am finally appeased by this little one," the creature purred, and you breathed a barely noticeable sigh of relief. You did it. Your sacrifice had not been in vain.

"It will satisfy me for a while, as did you when you were but a wee little farmer's boy. Still innocent, still hopeful, and wishing for change. She will have to claw her way out of here, and I will feed on her despair, her corruption. And once she is ready, I will send her to you so she may end your pitiful existence. Only then will you be ripe for eating, and she will continue humoring me as is the destiny of the strong-willed. I am eager to see how she will struggle after your passing, how she will break. I hope she will fare better than you, who became but a boring toy the moment I gave him the freedom to act in my name. You were not nearly the tyrant I made you to be."

"Please," you heard your father whimper, and it wasn't long before sobs echoed through the cave. "She's my daughter. She doesn't deserve this. All this pain and suffering to amuse you..."

"Neither did I."

You felt the brush of a hand against your cheek as if to wipe away tears that you hadn't cried. Even when you remembered the claws, the touch was careful, adding no more hurt.

"Now leave," the creature ordered, and the hand fell from you as you were laid down again. "She is no longer yours. And she might just have become my favorite toy ever since this existence came to be. But she needs to heal, and she is so close to waking up from your nagging. If you wish to settle your affairs, now is the time. Before I have broken my toy enough to send her after you, King."

The sobs grew louder for a few moments before they turned into sniffling. Steps crunched over the ground, but they suddenly halted. "I hope this time, your sacrifice kills you, you vile thing. You are no human anymore, but you are too clever for a beast. Like a corpse, refusing to die."

"Oh," the monster chuckled, but the laughter grew louder, and it seemed the creature was unable to hold it back. "Look at you, almost like you once were! It's a pity you are so old and worn. But contrary to you, my game won't die, and more will suffer before your wish will come true!"

You barely heard the steps disappearing back into the castle over the creature's laughter, but it soon stilled as the heavy stone doors closed shut, leaving you behind once more. Your heart ached. It was too much to bear, but you grew uncomfortably rigid in the creature's hold, its breath grazing your skin.

"You're awake, you should have told him what you feel. Are you mad now, little girl? Scared? Angry? Don't worry, you'll get to tell him all that is bothering you soon. We'll have so much fun devising your downfall. You'll be the most corrupt ruler of them all. I know it."

"W-" your voice failed as you tried to speak, and the creature chittered at your weakness.

"Why? It's lonely. So lonely to be cursed. But not when more people are suffering. You think you can make a change, but you are wrong. It's my destiny to be cursed, and now it is yours, too. As was it the curse of the king before you, the queen before him. I break them, reshape them, and when their time comes that they forget about me, I curse them with the same loneliness. The circle will be endless, but it will be fulfilled nonetheless."

Skin smushed against yours, a cheek pressed against your cheek, forehead, and face. Like a parent to a child, affectionate, sweet. Different from the truths the monster was revealing. Finally, you managed to open your eyes and stared into the strange face as an unsettling grin split its features.

It was even less human than you thought it to be, its face like what a human bird would look like—sharp eyes, aquiline nose. Feathers are sprouting instead of hair, framing its face and all over its arms. The sharp horns of a goat broke through its feathery fur on top of its head, and its torso changed into that of a lion, four more paws added to its limbs, with its scaled tail snaked around one of the hindlegs. Wings rested leisurely over its animal body, flinching occasionally as it watched you with more interest than anyone had ever before. It was beyond comparison; there was nothing you could describe without sounding like you had gone absolutely insane. So many things mixed into one body, it was a wonder it could even live. A mad experiment.

Death incarnated.

"So, fight me, little princess. Make me forget this loneliness for as long as possible, so I may not resort to what I do when I get lonely—ravage, take, eat. Challenge me, escape me, try to kill me, so I can do what I do best to you, corrupt and fill you with the despair of realizing you are nothing compared to me. That you will always have to live in fear. That you are always mine."

You gulped, your throat slowly coating with saliva again, smoothing your poor vocal cords, returning the ability to speak again.

"I refuse," you croaked. "I'll never be the monster you want me to be."

"Mhm," it hummed, but it was a sound of pleasure. "Just like that, little princess.

"I knew you'd not disappoint me."

#Monstober 2024 #yandere!monster #yandere monster #yandere!chimera #yandere #yandere writing #yandere fanfiction #yandere stories #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere TW #yandere headcanons #yandere drabble #yandere oneshot

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kanmom51 · 4 months ago

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Rebirth - Muse - JM

[**This post was written before the release of today's BTB and the little explanation JM gave us about Rebirth and Slow dance. What can I say other than just how much more my words feel relevant now. ]

As promised.

Thought I'd sneak this one in before Are you sure? lands, cause Idk, I just have this feeling that once it does we are up for 1 of two options:

I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of content we are getting that I'll be so dumbfounded and unable to post at all; Or, I will be so busy ruffling through everything running after my own tail trying to post post post post, that I will have zero time or ability to post this.

Long story short, this was the time. Do or die pretty much.

So Intro: Rebirth.

Before I get into the lyrics themselves I do want to go back to what we learnt from the Minimoni album exchange.

I kind of feel like a broken record here, but then again, I do think that obviously watching that exchange and my post on it can be a good starting point into understanding not only what Muse is all about, but also that out of all the songs on the album, Rebirth, in a sense, is just a little more personal than the others.

JM talks how the lyrics for this one were really hard to write. He mentions this a couple of times.

This was also when JM talked it was hard to write about having a crush.

Before moving on and talking about the song itself I do want to clarify something here.

I was really surprised to see how people are interpreting this.

Do people not know what the meaning of the word crush is? Not only the actual term JM used in Korean (that perhaps got lost in translation), but the actual meaning of the word in English.

짝사랑 - this is the term JM used while talking to RM.

Which basically translates as unrequited or one sided love, which is just that if you understand the actual term of the word.

Go to Oxford dictionary and crush is described as: "a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable." And if you look up "infatuation" well: "an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something."

Now, when I heard the word crush that is exactly what I understood and it was funny for me to see that there were those that interpret the word as falling in love or being in love or similar to that, when crush means something else all together.

*Side note: JM's love life aside, knowing the concept of JM's album, it's easy to understand why he chose to use the idea of a crush as a metaphor to describe that short lived passion/excitement he was feeling with his work, telling us or showing us, with the development of the songs in the album, that indeed it is short lived and he was yet to find that long lasting feeling of excitement with the things he was doing (work/his art) - still searching for that "who".

Back to the meaning of crush.

As explained, a crush in English means an intense infatuation with another that is mostly unattainable. Two people can crush on each other, but it's a crush only as long as it is yet to be requited. Once it is reciprocated then it's no longer a crush. So, you can crush on someone unknowing that the other person has a crush on you. This crush can fizzle out and end in nothingness. But a crush evolve into a relationship if the two people involved move forward from it. Making that move forward towards each other.

This is what having a crush looks like:

And this is how it looks when you had a crush and are realizing that maybe, just maybe that person is reciprocating.

And this is when you have decided that he really is.

That was back in 2015 btw. August 2015 and December 2015. ALMOST 9 YEARS AGO.

Unattainable.

Short-lived.

Are we surprised JM wouldn't remember the last time he had a crush?

I will repeat this for the rows in the back that might not have heard. When JM says he doesn't remember the last time he had a crush, that doesn't mean he's single. Whoever thinks that is what he's saying needs a crash course in English and/or life.

A crash course in crush... lmao (yes, I am easily entertained).

So, JM had to turn to the youngest member of SGMB (lol) to remind him what it feels like to have a crush. And yet, as I have explained in the Minimoni post, Muse might not be autobiographical, but that doesn't mean that there aren't personal aspects to some of the songs, and the lyrics. Feelings expressed being real feelings drawn from his trove of inner thoughts, feelings and life and love experiences.

I will also add that although crushing is mostly one sided, and when it turns into more, as in the other party reciprocates, of course there are some of the feelings that linger. The rush, the want, the need. But at the same time things change in that the other side is feeling the same. When you look at them, they look back, gazes linger rather than avoiding eye contact, for example. There are the touches when crushing, and there are the touches, just as hesitant, after it becoming MORE. The first are one sided and usually hidden as something else (for example: "I just need to check your arm muscles for a sec"), while the second are two sided, intentional but at times hidden from others.

The differences might be so very slight at times, but if you have a keen eye you can definitley notice them. And they sure were noticeable when it came to Jikook.

Another thing before I start.

One word:

SERENDIPITY

Idk why, but I feel like Rebirth is a prequel to Serendipity. Even though Serendipity was not written by JM (although I do believe he had input into the song just like or even more so with John Billion - remember how JM says he's an American RM...), it most certainly was claimed by him and JK as theirs. You are me I am you being their trademarked catch phrase. A love ode from JM to JK. That song JM said he will gift his loved one and did. Followed by GCFT, JK's love ode to JM. And if I'm going down that road, well, if Rebirth is the prequel to Serendipity I'd say that Letter is the sequel to Serendipity. I kind of think I've mentioned this before in one of my posts about Letter.

Now that I'm done with my precursor, let's move on to the actual song. A song that out of the lot of them in this album seems to be the most personal. The only song that we didn't get to see the process of writing or recording of in content we have gotten so far for Muse (promotions now over).

[Verse] If I'm tryna be special Can I get closer to you? I can feel my heart pounding When your fingertips graze past me If I'm tryna be special So that I can sing while making eye contact with you I'll show you, baby Oh, I didn't realize Oh, I didn't think I'd care Oh my gosh, now I Won't hide You are the light in my darkness Like the sunshine vibe It spreads quietly [Chorus] That I want a real good love, good love, good love I'm tryna find a love, good love, real love I was in pitch black, but I couldn't stop thinking of you all day long I want to take one step and two steps closer without you knowing Stay with you, with you, with you, with you I will be your reason, rеason, reason, reason I hope this feeling rеaches you, to you, you To you [Outro] White clouds The wind passing by Floating petals It feels like it's been waiting just for us When that door opens When I get closer to you I'll tell you this I will be special all for you Special just for you For you (For you) For you (For you) I wanna be with you

I will share with you what went through my mind once listening to Rebirth, all while reading parts of the translated lyrics. The flashing scenes. Parts that screamed JK or Jikook.

"I can feel my heart pounding When your fingertips graze past me"

This:

And this:

I can go on with this all day long. Being one of the most obvious sus behaviours with these two. But seeing that I don't want to exceed my image limit in this post I think this is where I will stop. Point made I guess.

"So that I can sing while making eye contact with you"

This was the first thing that came to mind:

😭😭

Although these did too:

And do we recall JK's sentiments about making eye contact with JM on stage?

They connect on stage. Before, during and at the end of the performance. We have seen it and they have told us so throughout the years.

Was that what JM was thinking of while writing that line?

This is clearly a line that is taken from his own personal experience. Singing while making eye contact is not something that regular people like you or I would come up with to express a feeling of love or want towards someone.

Drawing from his own emotions and experiences, how it is for him and how he might have used to wish it would be.

This line, more than any other is clearly that.

"Oh my gosh, now I Won't hide You are the light in my darkness" and "Like the sunshine vibe"

The latter, as JM explained to RM, was a word game/pun for which he asked permission from Taeyang to use in his song, seeing that his name literally means sun and Vibe was his song, lol.

But, we also know there is someone else, much closer to home, much closer period, that is referred to as the sun. Someone that makes JM happy. Someone that makes JM laugh even when he's sad. Someone that JM chose to go into the army with, together!!! Someone that is the other half of the sun and moon duo, the sun to JM's moon.

And what about this?

I'm tryna find a love, good love, real love

And he found it.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

"When that door opens When I get closer to you I'll tell you this I will be special all for you Special just for you For you (For you) For you (For you)

And he is. JM is special for JK. He has told and showed us this in so many ways in the past.

"I wanna be with you"

I wanna be with you...

Again, JM told us the songs aren't about his life, right? And yet, that doesn't mean they don't have a personal connection, that while writing he didn't take from his own experiences or feelings, that after writing he feels an emotional connection with the song, that even if not intended to it hits closer to home than others. And I feel like this is the case with Rebirth. I do believe that there is a reason it is the connecting song between Face and Muse. That there is a reason the interlude separates it from the rest of the songs.

#Jimin #JM #JM Muse #JM Rebirth #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #JK

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liu-anhuaming · 8 months ago

Text

all my mandarin dictionaries (and dictionary-adjacent books)

Through chatting with @don-dake and @cherrymintvampyyri, I've come to realize that I might own a less than normal number of Mandarin dictionaries. So, here's a post about all of them.

I do have two basic bilingual dictionaries (Mandarin/English): the Langenscheidt pocket dictionary and the DK visual dictionary. These are quite easy to buy and not that interesting imo, so I'm not gonna talk further about them.

I'm also going to include a couple books that aren't technically dictionaries, but are rather about etymology of characters, and that's close enough to count for me.

Okay, let's get on to the interesting stuff!

1. What Character is That? An Easy-Access Dictionary of 5,000 Chinese Characters by Ping-gam Go (second edition, 1995)

bilingual

This strange little dictionary was gifted to me by a nun who went to high school with my grandma and later lived in China as a missionary. It's organized alphabetically based on the English translation of each radical?

I have not used this dictionary for actual reference ever, because I flipped through it once and realized that it was absolutely whack. But it's cool to have I guess.

2. 新华字典第11版

monolingual

This little guy was gifted to me by a Chinese classmate back when I was in college. It's a 字典, so it's just focused on defining individual characters and providing some words featuring that character. Despite being a mainland dictionary, it also has 注音 next to each character for some reason.

It's got some neat stuff towards the back, like the periodic table and a chart of all the 節氣 solar terms.

3. 小学生全笔顺同义词近义词反义词组词造句成语多音多义字词典

monolingual

Whew, that's a mouthful. This is an actual 词典, so it defines full words. It also provides example sentences, synonyms, antonyms, and close equivalents. Then there's a section for idioms, and another section for 多音多义字.

There's also this nifty little insert with examples of words/phrases that follow common patterns of repetition.

4. 新现代汉语词典

monolingual

I picked up this chunky guy from a used bookstore down the street from me (the owner of the store passed last year, and the store is no longer there unfortunately). This is a fairly normal dictionary, it's just bigger than my others and has more words listed in it.

One thing I also noticed is that this chart towards the end of the dictionary apparently had a strip of paper pasted on the bottom. It doesn't seem like something I can peel up without damaging the paper under it, and when I shine a flashlight through the page I can't make out any major differences between what's on the sticker and what might be on the page under it. So my best guess is there might have been some damage to the text on the page?

5. 商务馆学汉语近义词词典 The Commercial Press Guide to Chinese Synonyms

monolingual

This book is easily the one I reference the most. As the name suggests, the book is all about synonyms. It takes sets of 2+ similar words and thoroughly explains the similarities and differences between them all. There's plenty example sentences, with notes about whether the synonyms can be used interchangeably in certain contexts.

It's a great resource, but I had a bit of trouble getting my hands on a copy. It's possible that in the years since I bought it there have been more copies made available for sale though.

these next two are books I haven't explored too much since they are old and the binding is incredibly fragile and starting to fall apart. just opening them is stressful.

6. 漢字分解 Chinese Characters Explained by F.X. Keelan (aka 康愛玲修女) (1967?)

bilingual

This book was also gifted to me by the nun who went to school with my grandma, and appears to also have been written by a nun! Based on what I've found from Google, this book was published in 1967.

Rather than a dictionary, this book is "a compilation intended as an aid in grouping and remembering [Chinese characters] with a view in acquiring a reading knowledge of Chinese"(p. iii). It aims to break down characters into radicals and giving similar/related characters. It's apparently the final installment in a 4 part Mandarin Course.

This book uses traditional characters. According to Google Books, the publisher is 光啓出版社, which is a Taiwanese organization. The book includes a very long table that has Mandarin, Cantonese, Taiwanese, Hakka, Japanese, and Korean pronunciations for (what seems to be) every character mentioned in the book. The intro mentions that this is so the course is more "accessible" for speakers of other East Asian languages.

Also, look at that printing error in the third photo! The text got cut off at the bottom of the page.

7. The Structure of Chinese Characters by John Chalmers (second edition, 1911)

bilingual

This final book is the oldest of the bunch, and was gifted to me by my boss's boss for some reason? She found it in a used bookstore apparently.

This book also uses traditional characters, because simplified characters just weren't a thing yet in 1911. This book is falling apart, and opening it stresses me out. It creaks whenever I open it.

Going by the title page, the full title of this book is An Account of the Structure of Chinese Characters Under 300 Primary Forms; After the Shwo-Wan, 100 A.D., and the Phonetic Shwoh-Wan, 1833. It was published by Kelly & Walsh, which was a Shanghai-based publisher.

Someone very kindly penciled in the years the author was alive: 1825-1899. John Chalmers was apparently a Scottish missionary (bc of course he was) who apparently popularized the term "Cantonese". This book that I own in particular was originally published in 1882.

It is, as the very long title suggests, an analysis and etymology of 300 common components

It also has a nifty fold-out of all 300 "primary forms" in seal script.

#chinese language #mandarin langblr #learn mandarin #learn chinese #books #mine #hope y'all enjoy this!

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offtorivendell · 1 month ago

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I just recently finished the actors series and I was reading up on the mating bonds and I came across your post about Lucien and Elain’s mating bond from a few years ago and how it potentially could be wrong from the cauldron and I find it super interesting and have seen multiple theories on it! I do think that Azriel might be right and the cauldron made a mistake but that leads me to think about Nesta/Cassian so I was hoping you could help me understand their mating bond! Could this not be considered the same for them? Is their bond not considered made by the Cauldron when Nesta was thrown in as well or how does their bond differ from Elain/Luciens? I could be overlooking but the info on the bonds is also hard for me to wrap my head around 😂

Hi and thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my nonsense!

I assume you are talking about this post from May 2021 - "What if the Cauldron was wrong?" - in which, to briefly sum up, I suggested that Elain and Azriel were actually meant to be mates, and that Lucien was chosen by the Cauldron as Elain's mate because Azriel was currently "dead" to its senses thanks to taking a poisoned ash arrow in his chest, and Lucien's true mate, Jesminda, had already died.

I know you sent this last week, I'm sorry about the wait - which, sadly, is not nearly the worst wait time for the asks I've been procrastinating on over the last couple of years lol, sorry to anyone who sent something I've flaked on - but funnily enough, there has been some renewed discourse this week.

In addition to this ask, I'd recommend checking out the following (bearing in mind that some may contain spoilers for the entire Maasverse):

The OP and my recent reblog of this post.

This similar ask I recently answered.

This thread and this thread by @silverlinedeyes.

This thread by @elriell.

This post by @icedflames.

This thread by @psychologynerd.

This thread by @wingedblooms.

This thread by @violetasteracademic.

These two posts, here (ACOTAR only) and here (with evidence from the Maasverse suggesting something might've happened to the Cauldron).

It's difficult to explain the entire (hypothesised) lore behind SJM's mating bonds without delving into the worlds of TOG and CC, so I'll attempt a very basic discussion about the Archeron sisters and bat boys (please note that all of these theories are due to a shared effort within the Elriel fandom, not limited to the accounts I tagged above); the following will be based on the theory that there are two types of bonds in Prythian: the original, mutual soul bonds, and offspring bonds for breeding purposes that may be a Cauldron-Made imitation of the original bonds.

In short, I believe Nesta and Cassian's bonus chapter from ACOMAF, and his behaviour towards her while everything was going wrong at Hybern, strongly suggested they already shared a mating bond that would have obviously predated Nesta being Made by the Cauldron at the end of the book; this would have been similar to Feyre and Rhys, who we know shared a bond that predated Feyre being Made by the High Lords. And not to make this Elriel, but for the sake of being complete, the first "family" dinner shared by all six brothers and sisters in the human lands appeared to show Azriel acting differently (in his own unique way) around Elain, just as Cassian was so obviously drawn to Nesta.

Lucien, on the other hand, didn't act in such a way that demonstrated, without any doubt, that he felt anything for Elain in particular before she went into the Cauldron at Hybern (which I discussed in my first mating bond meta that I linked above). Azriel, though? It's definitely murky, but imo his responses at Hybern, while downed with a poisoned arrow, could plausibly suggest he felt something for Elain, assuming SJM wants to go the "true bond" way. As Nesta, who could see through glamours as a human, said to Lucien right after he'd claimed Elain: "She is no such thing!"

Remember this passage between Feyre and Rhys, in the original trilogy?

“A mating bond can be rejected,” Rhys said mildly, eyes flickering in the mirror as he drank in every inch of bare skin I had on display. “There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly. Sometimes, the bond is nothing more than some … preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that. Some natural function, not an indication of true, paired souls.” A smile at me—at the rareness, perhaps, of what we had. - ACOWAR, chapter 24

Rhys said that sometimes, the bond is nothing more than "preordained guesswork," which suggests that sometimes it is more than that. I (and many others, but definitely not everyone in the fandom) think that Feysand and Nessian have the "rarer" type of bond, between "true, paired souls," while Elucien does not. I guess there's always the possibility that Feysand and Nessian also share offspring bonds, but given what happened in ACOSF that would appear to be... unwise on the Cauldron's behalf. But who knows.

Anyway anon, I hope this response helps to clear the theory up for you. If you have read the rest of the Maasverse then the posts I linked above are a really good grounding in the theories behind why mating bonds may not all be created equal.

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lej222 · 1 month ago

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Hii lej.. What do u think of latest chapter of aslfua?

Hiii there ^-^ Sorry for the late reply, I might be busy in the future but I will try to answer as fast as I can :)

ASLFUA 152 spoilers

I think we had a really funny callback in this episode because do you remember how Miae used to be the outcast in the class and she had to work hard to befriend the other kids? Now, we have Jisu as the fresh outcast and it's Honggyu again who openly voices his dislike towards him. Like, I'm always talking about paralles in the story and how Jisu parallels Miae so much, from his dynamic with Miae that is similar to the relationship between Miae&Cheol, to how other characters treat him.

The title of the story is about the academy and the last year of the century. So it makes sense Jisu's arrival to the academy marks the start of the ending of the series because this is the point where all the narratives come together. I've also mentioned this before, but aslfua seems to be a collection of parallel stories that intersect right now, one was happening in the background without the main characters knowing about it - that's Jisu's story-, and the other is the obvious one with Cheol and Miae. Author Soonkki likes playing around with perspectives, so it's common that seemingly unrelated occurances start to have meaning later on.

We actually know quite a few things:

the story is in its last stage

the title clearly references 1999 as the end of the century so the series has a limited timeframe

the narrator has pointed out how the academy kids don't have much time left together so they should get along

Jisu joined the class temporarily with the excuse of taking the mock test

the academy is not only a symbol for the whole story, but also one of the most important locations where Miae and Cheol started interacting without pretenses. Knowing this, Jisu's arrival could be the start of the core of the story, no wonder the supernatural power is becoming more aggressive. I guess this is where Soonkki's meticulous foreshadowing elements will come into play and where her writing skills can shine the most.

I didn't want to see a rift between the kids this far into the story and I've been vocal about how I don't like Jisu being used in the jealousy storyline. And I'm also not a fan of how Miae feels bad when she feels comfortable around Jisu and when people act like she's doing something wrong by being friends with him. I guess this is my biggest complaint in this episode as well, like give Cheol more scenes that are not about him being jealous! Let teenagers interact with each other without having to feel guilty about it! (hopefully this will be addressed)

Also, Jisu's possible neurodivergent behaviour is just shining through, it's actually funny. He's like 'I'm having fun -.-' with a straight face and 'I was bored so I solved all the problems' lol If he's yawning because of autistic fatigue caused by sensory overload and prolonged social interactions, it makes sense that he's doing it more excessively at the academy where he's surrounded by strangers. When I went back to the episodes where he was alone with Miae, he clearly didn't yawn as much so this theory seems to make sense.

#after school lessons for unripe apples #aslfua

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thistransient · 23 days ago

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"quiet places you can get to without a private vehicle" sounds like a perfect idea for Taipei recs! Do you have any tips for a tourist navigating their way from Taipei towards the south without speaking any Chinese, armed only with a smile and a desire for tasty foods? (I am hoping for some easy hikes while based in Chiayi & Miaoli, weather permitting - never know if I packed proper clothing, aaahhh~) (anon #1 here, thank you once again, have a great day ^^)

Some years ago I hitchhiked around the south of Taiwan with pretty beginner Mandarin, didn't know that "你吃了嗎 / have you eaten?" was an alternate form of greeting, and found myself taken out to lunch by an old guy who spoke zero English when I said no! If you look like a friendly foreigner, you will get around just fine (a European friend of mine in a similar condition visited last year and managed to eat plenty of things by just pointing, which I have also found to be a successful tactic while abroad). In addition to being the place where hand gestures work well, many night markets have multilingual signage (as do a lot of restaurants in Taipei). Just remember to bring cash, a lot of places still don't take card. Fruit and veg shops are a fun place to explore. Buffets (自助餐) are popular in Taiwan, and a good way to try a lot of different things without having to read a menu. Sometimes they're pay by weight, sometimes the cashier eyeballs your tray and makes up a price.

I've only been to Fenqihu (奮起湖) near Chiayi but there were indeed some sedate and beautiful forest trails there. Miaoli- another unexplored territory (along with Yunlin County) for me, I wish you best of luck. "Proper clothing" depends on what season you're going, but it's good to have rain gear, and layers are always practical (sometimes one must decide if the heat or the bugs are a greater evil).

As for Taipei quiet place recs:

Waziwei Nature Reserve (挖子尾自然生態保留區) - I have never seen a lot of people out here. Someone told me once it used to be a popular place to dump bodies, I've only ever seen fish bones. There's a cool mangrove swamp and a bike trail (might be a bit long to walk all the way out). I usually stop and get some food at Bali Old Street (crowded on the weekends, tolerable on a weekday afternoon).

Guandu Rice Fields (the linkable google maps location is actually 關渡平原大排步道) - Beautiful rice fields when they're green, or when flooded and you get the reflection of the sky and mountains. I also bike here, but I think you can reasonably walk from Beitou Station if it's not too hot.

Shezi Daotou Park 社子島島頭公園 - Another place to bike to, although I think there's a bus. You get a lovely view of the mountains from the east side, there's a bird watching wetland area if you're into that. If you keep going on the west you'll get, well, all the way down to Xindian before the trail ends.

Guandu Temple 關渡宮 - the temple is not quiet on the holidays, but I like Guandu as an area in general, you can take a bus up to the Taipei National University of the Arts campus and look around (there's a museum, wasn't open last time I went), there's the Guandu Nature Park, more beautiful riverside trails, you can even bike all the way to Tamsui (淡水) if you feel so inclined (also not quiet on the weekends, but the beach can be tolerable), or back down to the city (and all the way to Nangang and beyond if you're industrious).

Not Just Library 不只是圖書館 - if you've had enough of the mozzies outdoors, this specially designed library in an old Japanese era bathhouse is pretty cool, located in the Songshan Creative Park. There's a fee to get in but I think unlimited time after that

Air Force Martyrs Cemetery 空軍烈士公墓 - this is not exactly what I'm recommending but it's got a google maps location, and if you look carefully at the map there's a sort of unnamed cemetery around it which I've enjoyed exploring. You can walk from Xindian Station, Bitan 碧潭 is also a hectic place on the weekend but I've noticed Taiwanese people tend to be superstitious about cemeteries and don't go in there without formal business.

Fu De Keng Public Cemetery (富德公墓辦公室) is also a neat cemetery, but more difficult to get to. Even walking a couple kilometers up Chongde Street 崇德街 from Liuzhangli Station can be fun tho, you can see the location from the movie A Sun (陽光普照).

Yuanshan Archaeological Site 圓山文化遺跡 - I don't know why this place is always empty (except when I went on a walking tour lecture with a bunch of senior citizens the other day, and finally learned it used to be a zoo), there are a lot of cool abandoned traditional buildings (locked up, if you're really industrious you could probably sneak in but even from the outside it's very picturesque). You can walk from Yuanshan Station.

Lin An Tai Historical House and Museum 林安泰古厝 - less abandoned, quiet factor depends on the day of the week but I wouldn't say I've ever seen it truly packed. Beautiful traditional estate grounds and garden you can walk around in, free entry. Also across the street from Xinsheng Park, the rose garden, and indoor botanical gardens. Ten minute walk from the Yuanshan Archaeological Site.

I was going to wrap it up here lest I go on indefinitely but I feel like I should throw in one more indoor place for mosquito-escape:

Beitou Refuse Incineration Plant Observation Deck 北投焚化爐景觀台- I've been here once and it was empty except for one other guy, I'm not sure if it's normally like that but I'm assuming it's not the MOST popular place ever. It's easiest to bike there, just go along the river, go up the flood wall ramp, and there's a Youbike kiosk on the other side. Free entry! Cool views! Silence! (There's a revolving restaurant on the floor above but outrageously expensive.)

#ask #answer #anon #taipei recommendations

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eden-writes-stuff · 4 days ago

Text

Tags: mtf!'harry'; he/him pronuns until the middle, use of deadname until end; teacher!Remus; genderfluid!Sirius; ftm!Regulus; Angst; hints at wolfstar

Wordcount: 1260

The first try failed miserably.

When he returned to himself, Lupin was by his side, helping him up. "It's alright. I didn't expect you to do it the first time. That would have been remarkable." He pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket. "Here, eat this. You'll feel better."

Harry could still feel the cold, the icy grip on his heart, the numbness. "That was one nasty Dementor."

"Oh, no. That was a Boggart, Harry. The real thing would have been a lot worse."

Lupin started to relight the candles with his fingers while Harry scrambled back to his feet.

"As a matter of interest, what were you thinking?" "The first time I rode a broom."

Lupin turned toward him. "That's not good enough, not nearly." Harry tried not to be disappointed. Deep inside, he knew there was only one right memory. One time he had felt truly comfortable in his own skin. But it was wrong and strange... and yet...

"There's another... It's the happiest I've ever felt. But it's complicated", he explained, not daring to look at the teacher.

"Is it strong?"

Harry nodded, heart pounding.

"Then let's give it a try. Do you feel ready?" He drew his wand, pointing it at the chest.

"Just do it." This time when Lupin opened the chest, he felt more confident. He remembered what it had been like.

The sudden change of his body. Long black hair, softer curves, wider hips, a different voice... He remembered finally seeing herself in the mirror. The pure euphoria. She remembered people laughing, but it didn't matter because, for the first time in her life, she had felt beautiful.

The stag burst out of the tip of the wand, cornering the Dementor until it was back in its prison. Lupin looked up in wonder.

"Fucking hell! Sorry. You didn't hear that. That was amazing. Truly wonderful, here..." He pulled his chocolate out again, while Harry wiped away a few tears. Why was she- he- she crying? A look of concern crossed the teacher's face. "Let's take a break, shall we."

Without a word, Harry sat on the stairs, staring at the wall.

"Do you want to talk about this memory?" The kid hesitated. She trusted Lupin. Something about his calm, warm way made him seem like he could make the entire world be okay.

"It was a prank Malfoy pulled on me last year... He... turned me into a girl. It's stupid. I don't even know why it affected me that much, but it just felt right. I know it's not. I'm a boy, I always have been, but I... I felt so comfortable for the next few hours."

"Har-" Lupin interrupted himself. "Listen, I'm not pretending to be all-knowing. Only you can know who you are and how you feel, but I would like to tell you about two friends of mine who might have had similar experiences."

The thirteen-year-old looked up. It was obviously not easy for the teacher to talk about this, but he continued anyway. "They were siblings. One was born as a boy, the other as a girl. But it turned out that neither of those terms really fit them. The 'girl' felt more comfortable with short hair and the other sibling's clothes, because they didn't show off as much of the body. Soon this child decided to tell their friends to refer to him with 'he', rather than 'she'. Not long after he changed his name. And the people who truly cared about him accepted it. He was a lot happier that way and felt more like himself. He changed his appearance permanently."

"So he lived as a boy? And people were just fine with that?" "Well, not everyone obviously. But there will always be people who don't agree with who you are or how you present yourself. He just made sure people disliked who he really was." Lupin gave her a small smile.

"What about your other friend?" His gaze grew distant. "He never cared what people thought of him. One of the bravest people I ever knew." Probably without even knowing it his thumb traced one of the scars on his hand. "He would change his appearance and how people referred to her based on her mood. Some days she felt more like a woman, others like a man, others like none. Not caring what anyone had to say about it. Just because he knew he only had limited time on this earth and she wasn't going to waste any of it." He took a deep breath and looked over to her again.

"Do you see yourself in either of them?" "I... I don't know. Can you maybe try it out? Talking about me with she?" the professor nodded. "Of course", he turned toward an imaginary audience. "This is my student. She managed to summon a patronus today, and as her teacher, I am very proud of her. She likes to play Quidditch, but sadly her broom broke a few weeks ago. I hope she finds a new one that will equally serve its purpose." Lupin looked at her again, who couldn't help but smile.

"So you like it?" "Yes. It... I can't even describe it. Just... yes." She grinned widely, but then hesitated. "What about a name?" "Do you want a new one? You don't have to change anything you don't want to change." "I would like a new name, but... Well, my parents gave it to me and- "Your parents were two of the most supportive and accepting people in the world. They would have loved you, regardless of your gender or name; regardless of anything. You don't need to worry about them."

Slowly she nodded. "Can I just pick any name?" "Anyone you like. It doesn't need to be right away either, you can take as much time as you need. You can choose it when you're 70 or 110." "Do you know, if my parents had any ideas if I was.. born a girl?" Lupin thought for a while.

"In general, the Potters have a tradition of naming their kids after themselves. You have your father's first name as your second name, he had his father's name as a second name. So you could use Lily as a second name if you want to keep that going. Other than that your mom was very keen on naming you after one of their friends, but James thought that would get confusing very quickly. Now I don't believe that will be a problem anymore. You almost would have been named... after your godfather. As for female friends; There were Marlene and Mary, who were your mother's best friends. We used to call them the Valkyries. Marlene had a very close friend called Dorcas, also a brilliant woman. And then there was Pandora, who... was also very close to your mother. And of course, your grandmother, Euphemia."

"Pandora Lily Potter... Pandora Potter." She let the name roll off her tongue a few times. "I think I like that one..." Professor Lupin smiled. "Do you think I can tell my friends?" "I don't know. You need to manage that yourself. However, if you are looking for support, I know that Professor McGonagall, Madame Pomfrey and Professor Sprout will not let anyone treat you badly because of that. And neither will I."

Pandora nodded and rose from the stairs. "Can we maybe continue practice another time? I have a lot to think about." "Of course. Take as much time as you need. You have done amazing today. Much better than I ever anticipated. I'll see you in classes then, Pandora..."

#I very much underestimated how hard it would be to call Remus 'Lupin' or 'professor'.#i may have cried #marauders fanfiction #marauders #wolfstar #remus lupin #ao3 writer #genderfluid sirius black #trans regulus #harry potter #trans harry potter #transgender #pandora rosier #deadname

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bigjuice34 · 11 months ago

Text

Private Affair (Year One)

Chapter Three

A/N: Happy New Year! Here's Chapter 3 :) big thank you to those reading this story, it means the world to me.

Word Count: 4.8k

“Are you sure?” Garrick asked disbelievingly as he glanced at Freya, who still hadn’t broken eye contact with the green dragon staring at her. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe her, but the situation just seemed too wild to be true.“It could be a similar dragon.”

Freya didn’t respond, she couldn’t. She was too fixated on the dragon, feeling tense under its gaze and how it studied her, but didn’t back down either.

“I’m almost positive,” Freya whispered. “I think it’s trying to confirm that I am who it thinks I am.”

“With the way it keeps looking at your arm, I think it knows,” Xaden said. “Do you remember its name?”

“I remember what Caden called him, but never his full name. Only Caden knew his full name.”

“And if you say the wrong name, you could be scorched,” Garrick stated.

It was true. Calling a dragon by the incorrect name was considered disrespectful, which was the last thing Freya wanted to do. She was so sure that she knew this dragon, but if she said his name and it was wrong, she could die as a result. Was it worth the risk?

The dragon’s gaze shifted a bit but remained on Freya. It was as though they were done studying her and now testing to see if she was brave enough to follow her instinct or cower and stay silent instead.

Freya’s chest felt heavy, however, she wasn’t one to cower from something she felt strongly about.

“Dìo,” she stated the name residing in her mind, not loud enough for others observing her to hear, but enough that it was clear she wasn’t wavering on her gut feeling.

Silence surrounded her. No one dared to say a word as they waited for what the dragon would do next. After a moment passed, Freya thought she might be in the clear. She exhaled, and then that feeling of anxiety returned when the dragon started leaning towards her again, and opened its mouth.

Freya gasped as she instinctively grabbed onto the arms of the boys she stood between, knowing that even if they wanted to run, they wouldn’t make it far. There was no avoiding what was about to happen, so she watched in horror as the glow of fire became visible at the back of the dragon’s mouth. The glow became brighter and Freya could see the fire that was coming right for her, but didn’t close her eyes or cower away. She was ready and continued watching while bracing herself if this truly was meant to be her end.

The boys stayed silent. Ready to go down with her. However, before they could be burned alive, the dragon tilted its head upward and blew the fiery stream over them. Freya, Xaden, Garrick and every cadet standing behind them ducked down. Even if they stood up straight, they wouldn’t have been hit by the dragon's fire, but the heat wasn’t pleasant. It was a survival reflex to retreat from it.

After a few moments, the dragon closed its mouth before looking at Freya again. She remained crouching, not breaking eye contact as she took a deep breath. After a moment, she glanced over to see the newly charred area of the citadel’s stone wall. That’s all that was left of a cadet trying to make a break for it, which had Freya shaking her head before she looked back at the dragon.

“Dìo,” she repeated, not caring who heard this time as she stood up straight again and stepped forward, blowing away the loose strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face again. “That’s your name.”

Freya wasn’t going to give in to the scare tactics. If she did, there was no chance she would survive until graduation and she wanted all of those who saw her differently because of the relic on her arm to know that she shouldn’t be underestimated. That included the dragons too.

It felt like time froze as she and the green dragon continued staring at each other, neither of them daring to look away. It killed Freya not knowing what the dragon was thinking, but she held her ground, still refusing to crumble under the stares of the other six dragons and everyone around her. No one spoke, just observed the intense staredown going on because they knew they couldn’t intervene.

Freya didn’t know what else she was supposed to do. She’d already caused a scene and brought so much unwanted attention to herself, but how could she not when in such an unexpected situation? There was no going back.

However, after what felt like an eternity to Freya and much to her surprise, the green dragon’s gaze softened. Relief washed over her as she watched the beast return to its regal position of looking over the crowd below and seemingly nodding at her with approval before glancing at the other dragons. Freya was right. The dragon was the same one Caden had been bonded to which led her to assume Dìo was communicating with the others the significance of what had just happened between them.

Mumbles rose from around the crowd, bringing Freya back to reality as she looked around and saw just how many eyes were on her. She hated it but remained silent as she straightened her posture then stepped back into formation and looked ahead to the stone dais. Her expression was unreadable as she faced the wingleaders, Commandant Panchek, General Sorrengail and all the others who seemingly studied her. She refused to show an ounce of weakness for them to feed on.

“Cadets, you may now go collect your uniforms then gather for dinner,” Nathan addressed the crowd, but his eyes remained on Freya. “After that, your squad leaders will direct you to the barracks and show you your new home until Threshing. We’ll see how many of you make it through the night.”

Freya blinked at his words, feeling like they were directed at her in a way, but quickly shook her head at the thought. The cadets around her began dispersing and she finally let herself relax before looking over at Xaden and Garrick.

“Would you believe I genuinely thought I could come in here and keep a low profile,” Freya sighed in defeat as they approached her again.

“You? Keep a low profile?” Garrick snorted. “Impossible. You’ve been picking bigger battles for yourself since we were kids, Fray. It’s completely like you to make a first impression like this.”

“Ok, but that wasn’t my intention, Garrick! Not after everything that’s happened to us. I just, I don’t know. I wasn’t prepared for any of that. The last thing I expected was to come in here and see my brother’s dragon of all things and bring attention to myself. This wasn’t a battle I thought I would have to face.”

Before anything more could be said, more screams and gasps sounded from around the courtyard as one by one the dragons launched themselves into the air and began flying off to where they came from. Freya watched upwards as each one entered her view as they took off. Soon, seven dragons were in the sky again appearing smaller as they flew off into the distance, but there was noticeably a green dragon absent from their group. Without a second thought, Freya spun back around to where Dìo was still perched on the wall and staring right at her.

As soon as Freya made eye contact, the dragon took off, almost as if he was waiting to get one last look at her before leaving. Freya remained silent as she watched him fly toward the mountains and out of sight.

“If there’s one thing about Freya that I know for sure,” Xaden spoke up, easily bringing Freya’s attention back to him. “It’s that no battle is too big for her. I don’t know what any of what just happened means, but we’ll figure it out, Fern. Together. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure we get through this.”

Freya smiled at him gratefully, then nodded in agreement. The three of them were a force to be reckoned with, that was for sure.

“The trio is officially back together,” Garrick stated as he wrapped his arms around both Freya and Xaden’s shoulders as the three of them followed the rest of the cadets to collect their uniforms.

The remainder of the evening was uneventful. Once all the cadets were given their new uniforms, they got their class schedules which were set to begin the following day. By the time dinner had concluded, it wasn’t long before curfew.

Freya was assigned a bed on the first level of the barracks. It gave her comfort knowing that Xaden and Garrick were on the same floor as her, which she assumed had to do with them being part of the same wing, but their bunks weren’t necessarily close since they were in the men's hall. However, Nova was assigned the bed next to Freya’s, which she was grateful for.

The two girls talked as they unpacked their rucksacks and got situated in their bunks, continuing their chatting despite the zero privacy they had.

Freya learned that Nova grew up not far super from from Basgiath in a small town along the Iakobos River and was the first of her family to enter the rider’s quadrant. Her father was part of the infantry, her mother was a scribe and her older sister was in her second year of the scribe quadrant. Nova had no problem opening up to Freya about herself, showing early signs of genuine trust. However, when it was Freya’s turn to open up, she struggled.

“What about you,” Nova started as she crossed her legs and brought her pillow onto her lap. “What’s your story?”

“My story,” Freya repeated and shifted awkwardly, dropping her gaze from Nova down to her bed as she fiddled with the thin sheet. “Is complex.”

“You’re asking a Marked One what their story is,” Bennett, a short-haired redhead with matching freckles and brown eyes, who was also part of First Squad, spoke up from their bunk on the other side of Nova’s. In the short time they’d been getting to know each other, Freya started to like Bennett and knew their comment wasn’t malicious. The bluntness of it even made her smile a little bit. “Seriously?”

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it!” Nova stressed.

“Wait, how did you know I was a rebellion kid?” Freya fake gasped, making Nova scowl. “I’m just messing with you.”

“I know,” Nova said. “But, I genuinely didn’t mean anything bad. It was an insensitive thing for me to ask, I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Nova. It’s not like it’s some big secret what my family was part of.”

Nova nodded and smiled, but it was clear she didn’t know what else to say.

“If you don’t mind me asking, were both your parents leaders?” Bennett asked with a sympathetic gaze.

Freya took a deep breath.

“Yeah, both of them,” she stated. “And my older brother. I’m the only one left.”

“Oh, Freya, I’m so sorry,” Nova said as she shook her head and closed her eyes. “Gods, I always hated how that was all handled. That group of kids, innocent kids, having to watch their parents be-.”

Nova trailed off, not wanting to mention the executions that occurred. But again, for Freya, it was nothing new. It was part of her life. There was no point in avoiding or trying to hide from it.

“It’s ok, to be curious. I don’t mind,” Freya told Nova and Bennett as she glanced between them. “It’s honestly refreshing to meet some new people, especially in a setting like this, who don’t treat me like a complete outsider because of the relic I have on my arm. That can’t be said for everyone.”

Freya let her gaze drift to where Amber sat on her bed further down the rows, then rolled her eyes. Something that didn’t go unmissed by the other two.

“You know her from before?” Nova asked. “Well, I’m assuming you do with how quickly you put her in her place before we were on the parapet.”

“Yeah, I’ve known Amber for a few years. She’s also Tyrrish. Her family remained loyal during the rebellion. Her parents knew my foster parents and tried convincing them they shouldn’t take in any of the kids being displaced. My foster parents didn’t listen and had a falling out with her parents, but we still knew each other through proximity. She’s insufferable.”

“Gathered that much,” Nova scoffed, then glared in Amber’s direction. “Goes to show how closed-minded people can be.”

“I’d say so,” Bennett chimed in as they moved to sit next to Nova on her bed. “You’re intriguing, Freya. One of the most interesting people I’ve met since crossing the parapet. I knew there was something about you the moment you faced that dragon in the courtyard.”

“Glad my chaotic existence is intriguing entertainment to you,” Freya teased.

“I mean, yeah, you’re alright. But what’s most entertaining are those two large, broody, built-in guards you have.”

“Xaden and Garrick? Please. ‘Guards’ is a stretch, those two know I can take care of myself. They’ve been my best friends since we were kids, though. Today was the first time I’ve seen them in almost three years.”

“Speaking of which, it seems like one of them wants to continue catching up with you,” Nova pointed out, then tilted her head to Freya’s left. Freya quickly glanced over her shoulder and sure enough, Xaden was standing there.

All tension seemed to leave Freya’s body as she smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Xaden responded, then pushed a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t,” Bennett stated, smirking, but that smirk soon disappeared when Nova whacked them with her pillow. “But you’re not overly stealthy coming into the girl's dorm if that’s what you were going for.’

“Quiet, you,” she threatened, then smiled as she looked back at Freya and Xaden.

“Right,” Xaden continued as his gaze returned to Freya once she faced him again. “Could I talk to you for a moment?”

“Of course,” Freya responded before she got down from her bed. Xaden nodded, then stepped a few feet away until he reached the nearby wall. Freya followed. “Is everything alright?”

“Hold your hand out,” Xaden demanded in a low, but firm voice.

Freya was surprised, but did what she was told and quickly clenched a fist around the piece of paper Xaden swiftly placed in her hand.

“What’s this?”

“Directions. Wait until a bit after curfew and follow them to meet me outside. Let me sneak out of here first so I can make sure it’s clear, though. You’ll know when I’m going.”

“What?” Freya asked with wide eyes. “It’s the first night and you already want to break curfew?”

Xaden shrugged, a smile dancing on his lips. “Do you trust me?”

Freya sighed.

“You know I do.”

“Then I’ll see you outside.”

There was no point in protesting, Freya knew that. Wherever Xaden led, she would follow.

“Ok,” she said and Xaden nodded before heading toward the door that led to the hallway outside the girl’s dorm. Freya remained silent as she returned to her bed, feeling the intense gaze of Nova and Bennett as she straightened her bedsheet, using the action as a decoy to tuck the paper Xaden gave her under her pillow.

“Well, that was cryptic,” Bennett said.”And intense.”

“Yeah, I know he’s your friend and all, but wow,” Nova added while shaking her head. “I would crack under the pressure of that man's gaze alone.”

“I guess it’s different when you know him like I do,” Freya replied, noting that neither of them seemed to hear the conversation she and Xaden just had as she turned back to face them. “Anyway, I think I’m going to get ready for bed. Curfew’s gotta be soon.”

“I hope so,” Nova groaned. “I’m exhausted.”

About an hour and a half later, Freya lay awake in bed, silently staring towards the ceiling. She was ridiculously tired but refused to let herself sleep without knowing what Xaden was plotting.

The room was quiet, most cadets fell asleep as soon as the lights went out roughly forty minutes prior. Freya half expected someone to attempt killing another knowing they wouldn’t be punished for it unless the cadet was sleeping, but no one did. Freya couldn’t blame them either after the incredibly draining day they all endured.

Feeling too comfortable and that sleep could overtake her if she stayed in the same position, Freya rolled onto her side. Blinking a few times, she tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness but couldn’t see a damn thing. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to know when Xaden was planning on sneaking out.

However, as if her thoughts had been heard, a low whistle sounded from nearby and Freya knew it was her best friend. She immediately lifted her head, looking for any sign that confirmed it was Xaden, then saw a cloaked figure rush into the faint moonlight that shone in through the window near her bed and motioned for her to follow. The figure was gone as quickly as it appeared, making Freya hesitate. She fully expected Garrick to be part of their past curfew venture, but didn’t see or hear anyone else go by.

Part of Freya yelled at her to go to sleep and talk to Xaden in the morning. That following an unknown cloaked person could be dangerous. But at the same time, she was intrigued. Freya knew Xaden wouldn’t set her up for something bad and that it probably was him, but she also wondered if that wasn’t Xaden, what the person could be up to. Nonetheless, she sat up, swung her legs over the side of her bed quietly leapt down.

There wasn’t anyone assigned to the bed next to Freya’s or none that claimed it as theirs since all cadets first entered the barracks. She was sure there had to have been someone meant to have that bed but assumed they might not have made it through the day's events. It was a weird thought for Freya to have, but she didn’t dwell on it too much. She was thankful there was no one she could potentially wake up on that side as she reached under to grab the black cloak she was given at uniform distribution, then glanced toward Nova and Bennett’s beds. Neither of them stirred nor did anyone else nearby as Freya scanned her eyes for any type of movement in the dark. So, with a deep breath, she threw the cloak on and snuck out of the room.

The directions on the paper Xaden gave Freya were to get her to the large stone staircase that led to the valley below the citadel. She wasn’t sure when or how he’d found the time to start navigating the war college already, but she didn’t ask questions.

Sneaking out of the women’s hall was less challenging than Freya expected it to be. Xaden’s directions made it simple for her to navigate the hallways of the dorms in the dark, going undetected as she followed his strict instructions to stay pressed against the walls and hidden in the shadows as she went. The air got cooler as a breeze coming from the entrance to the courtyard brushed past Freya, making her tighten the cloak around her as she stepped through the doorway.

Once outside, Freya quickly realized how the breeze had been deceiving. It was a beautiful, warm, summer night and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The moon was in its waxing crescent phase that night, inching toward the first quarter. Despite not much of the moon being visible, the light it emitted was bright and Freya knew the full moon set to take over the night’s sky in about a week and a half’s time was bound to be even more luminous. Moonlight filled the courtyard, but it still wasn’t enough to expose Freya as she crept along the walls to where Xaden’s note said the stairs were. The archway that supposedly led to the stairs was visible and made Freya wonder how she’d missed it when everyone was gathered there earlier in the day, but knew it didn’t matter. She was almost there.

As she reached the last few feet of the wall before the archway, Freya thought she was in the clear and let her guard down. Thinking nothing of it, she stepped out of the shadows and walked through the archway, but didn’t make it one more step before something strong pushed her back against the stone wall with aggressive force.

Freya gasped at the sudden impact but acted quickly as she defensively grabbed ahold of the attacker's cloak with her left hand, and gripped onto their wrist with her right hand. The move slightly relieved the pressure the person’s forearm made as it pressed against her chest, just below her throat, but still wasn’t enough for her to breathe properly. The person's other hand pinned her against the wall by her shoulder.

“What are you doing out here after curfew, first year?” The attacker, a male, asked as he pressed harder against Freya’s shoulder, making her wince slightly at the pain it caused.

“I’m not one to share my scheming with faceless assailants,” Freya stated as she desperately tried to catch her breath, not caring that she was already treading water in her current predicament.

“You must have a death wish,” the man replied, then removed his arm and hand from her as he stepped back. Freya hunched over at the lack of contact and inhaled deeply, taking the opportunity to fill her lungs with the air they craved. After a few breaths, she looked back upwards to see her attacker remove their hood and use lesser magic to create a small mage light, revealing their identity. It was Nathan, her wingleader. “Now, are you going to answer my question?”

Freya stayed silent as she slowly stood up straight again, not taking her eyes off the man in front of her. She studied his features for a moment, taking in his windblown deep brown hair and golden brown eyes. His sandy beige skin tone appeared differently in the dark, which was to be expected, but he was still stunning to look at. Freya would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t find anything attractive about the wingleader based on what she’d seen of him earlier, but it wasn’t until then she was able to notice the finer details. Things like his perfectly sculpted jaw and the large scar that began at his collarbone and partially went across his chest before disappearing under the cloak he wore.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Freya answered but immediately regretted her attitude as she watched Nathan’s features harden.

“That’s not how this works,” he told her. “I’m your wingleader, not your colleague, cadet. I could see through that you receive the proper punishment for breaking curfew on the first night.”

“If you have the power to make sure I’m punished for this, then why aren’t you using it?”

Nathan went to speak, then paused and shook his head slightly.

“I don’t know.”

Freya stayed quiet, taken aback by Nathan’s response. She was completely aware of how much trouble she could get in being caught out after curfew, let alone by a wingleader. But there was something about Nathan’s aura that didn’t scream ‘power hungry’ as the other wingleaders did.

“I needed some fresh air,” she told him after taking another breath, already knowing there was no way she was going to rat out Xaden.

“Bullshit,” he snapped. “If you needed fresh air you could’ve opened a window in the dorms, not sneak out into the courtyard.”

“Fine! I wanted to go to the valley and see if there was anything of use to me down there. Berries, leaves, herbs. Things I could use to give myself an upper hand in here if need be.”

“See that’d almost be believable if I hadn’t already seen your friend sneak down the stairs minutes before you got here. This is your chance to tell me what’s really going on, cadet.”

Freya huffed, annoyed and overwhelmed at the situation. She felt like she could burst as the weight of everything that happened that day finally caught up to her and Nathan unwillingly became her outlet.

“My name is Freya,” she started, then tucked her long unbraided hair behind her ears. “And if you must know, Xaden is my oldest friend. We both had to watch our family members be executed for their part in the rebellion. After being separated three years ago, we’ve finally been reunited as we’re forced to attend this death sentence of a college as punishment for crimes our parents committed, not us. I’m not sure why I’m telling you this when the damn relic on my arm says it all for me. Regardless, I’m an outsider here. The only people I have are the ones like me and it’s a crime for more than three of us to even talk to one another. There’s no privacy in this place. I’m lucky if anyone even looks at me without acting like I singlehandedly caused the rebellion and the immense loss that came with it. To everyone else, I’m either a threat or a target, there is no in-between and I plan on surviving so I refuse to be the latter. With that, though, Xaden gives me a sense of normalcy and I’m not going to apologize for breaking curfew to have that. We weren’t going to do anything bad, we just wanted to talk.”

Freya was breathless at the end of her spiel and hated that she let her feelings get the best of her and cause an unwanted tangent. She breathed heavily, not looking away from Nathan whose gaze felt like it was piercing Freya’s skin and waited for him to respond.

“I see,” Nathan finally spoke after a few moments of silence.

“That’s it?” Freya asked incredulously. “‘I see?’ Are you not going to order me to get back to the dorms or threaten me with telling one of the higher-ups?”

“Would it make a difference if I did?”

“No.”

“Exactly,” he stated. “Then why would I waste my time?”

“Because, Wingleader, it’s your job,” Freya challenged. “How do you know I’m not lying? Maybe Xaden and I are actually planning on running away or even just setting ablaze to this place and everyone in it.”

“Well that would be rather dramatic, I must say,” Nathan spoke so calmly and collected. It irritated Freya and sparked something inside of her. She couldn’t walk away.

“You haven’t seen dramatic.”

“Says the girl who faced death while calling a dragon by its name within hours of crossing the parapet knowing full well she could’ve increased her chances of survival by just staying silent and hoping for the best. Was that part of your plan to stay under the radar? How’s that working out for you?”

“Why do you care?” Freya asked, raising her voice as she stepped closer to Nathan. “You don’t know me!”

Fury flashed through Nathan’s eyes but not once did Freya think that anger was directed toward her, it was something internalized. But, Nathan still matched her energy and stepped forward too until they were chest to chest. He had a good five inches of height on her, but Freya didn’t care as she glared up at him, fuming.

Eventually, his intense, hard gaze softened before speaking up again.

“Again, I don’t know,” Nathan admitted, his voice trailing off at the end. “There’s something about you, Freya. Not the other marked ones that came in here today too, just you, and I can’t quite figure it out.”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” she responded. “You probably never will figure it out.”

Nathan smirked.

“I like a challenge. Now, go on. Your friend is waiting for you.”

“You’re just going to let me go?”

“Do you want me to change my mind?” Nathan questioned with a raised eyebrow, making Freya shake her head no in response. “That’s what I thought. Go talk with Riorson then get to bed. If I come back here in an hour and you’re still out, I will make sure your life is a living hell during your first mat training tomorrow. Got it?”

Freya’s eyes widened, but she quickly nodded in understanding. Without another word, she put the hood of her cloak back up and rushed down the stairs away from Nathan and toward Xaden.

#xaden riorson imagine #xaden riorson fanfiction #xaden riorson fanfic #xaden riorson #the empyrean fanfic #fourth wing fanfiction #xaden riorson x ofc #fourth wing fanfic #fourth wing imagine

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angelmichelangelo · 1 year ago

Note

Maybe 2012 Mikey being badass? (i've got nothing else lmao)

Like most things in his life, being the klutz of his family, he discovers it by entire accident.

Raph and April are out front on the front lawn, training together, a newfound activity that the pair of them have taken to, now that Raph’s number one spar partner was currently unconscious in the tub upstairs.

Mikey’s stomach clinches at the thought. It’s something he often tries to forget these days. Wind whistles past him and he looks up from his spot on the porch, huddling down into his oversized hoodie, he feels some of that unease surrounding his chest start to ebb away.

At least Raphael was outside, doing something other than just brooding in silence. Casey had even managed to get some dinner down him last night so… maybe things weren’t so bad after all.

With Donnie on constant lookout for Leo, Mikey supposed he was on a similar kind of duty with Raph. The turtle and the girl twirl around each other, unphased by the new year chill that hangs in the air still.

Mikey taps the end of his pencil against the sketchpad. So far it was full of just quick warm up sketches that he’d done through the morning so far. One of the stretch of trees over on the horizon. A frog. One of April standing from afar during her own warm up with Raph.

He taps at the paper, little residuales of pencil shavings bouncing with it when—

“Shit!”

That’s Raph’s voice, sharp and worried that has Mike snapping his head up so fast like rubber.

He’s crouched down beside April who’s now laying in the grass, one leg stretched out, she’s grasping at her ankle, and even from here, Mikey can make out the fresh glimmer of tears she’s stubbornly holding back behind her eyes.

He pushes his sketchpad and pencil aside onto the step as he leaps up, running over to meet them.

“It’s fine,” April tells him straight away before he even has a chance. Raph’s hands are awkwardly hovering over the ankle she’s still grasping at. “Just rolled it funny.”

There’s a little bite to her words that tells him that there was nothing funny about it.

Mikey huffs, crouching down beside her, he offers her a lopsided smile when he tells her.

“Apes, I’ve had a fair share of rolled ankles in my time.” He gently pries her hands away to inspect the damage. “It still hurts like shell.”

It’s swollen already, probably nothing too serious but Raph’s face pales anyway. He never was any good with anything remotely medical. Mikey remembers when they were kids, he couldn’t even watch E.T because of that one particular scene in the med bay tents.

“I’ll go get Don,” is what he tells him, already springing to his feet and making a dash towards the house.

April sucks in a breath. Now it’s like she’s really trying not to cry and Mikey can’t help but feel bad for her.

“Here,” he says, gently wrapping his hand around her injured ankle. “I’ve been told I have warm hands. It might help.”

She flinches at first, with the sudden contact, but after a while she relaxes, no longer fisting tight handfuls of grass beneath her palm, even the glossy tears in her eyes seem to sink away.

She blinks. “It.” She says suddenly, stopping short like she lost the thread of her own sentence. “Mike. You’re—”

She’s cut off by the sound of running feet. Two pairs of running feet exactly because Raphael rejoins them with Donnie in tow. He’s got his little med kit with him (that still has the Mikey Do Not Touch sticker that’s slowly starting to peel away on the front) and when he sits beside her, he’s looking breathless and tired.

“Hey,” he says. “Can I look?”

April sniffs. She shakes her head to scoot her bangs from out of her eyes. “It’s not that bad,” she tells him. She inches her leg upwards. “See. I can move it now, really.”

Mikey’s hand stays firmly in place and… and he knew he was being trivial when he said about having warm hands but… but suddenly the skin of his palm that’s touching against hers feels very very hot.

He pulls it away when Raph squeaks in surprise.

Donnie, who was previously rattling about in his box, turns his head and stops short, a frown knitting between his brows. It matches Raph’s current expression almost perfectly.

“I thought you said it was swollen?” Donnie comments, leaning forward to inspect the very not swollen ankle. In fact, it looked in perfect shape. “You said, in your words,” he shoots April a somewhat apologetic look. “Gnarly.”

Raph squeaks again, in disbelief it would appear.

“It was!” He looks between April and Mikey with quick desperation. “Wasn’t it?”

April gulps and then slowly nods her head. “I… I dunno what happened.” She watches rather gingerly as Don packs his stuff away again. She gives her foot a twirl as if to test it out. “Mike grabbed onto it and… and it got all warm and it was just. Better.”

Donnie and Raph look up at the same time then. Gosh, they really do act like twins sometimes.

“You… grabbed it?” Raph asks, voice pitching upwards slightly.

Mikey shrugs. His hand no longer feels hot, but he thinks if he had ears right now, they’d probably be burning. “I just held onto it. Thought maybe it’d help.”

Donnie presses all along her joints and bones and once Raph’s pulled her to her feet, she’s able to walk around just fine. No wincing or secret achy bits. It’s like she never hurt it in the first place.

And once Don’s signed her off he retreats back towards the upstairs bathroom again. Raph, Mike and April watch him go when Raph turns to his brother, lifting up one of his hands between his, he says,

“Jeez, bro. You could have maybe unlocked the healing hands any other time for when we needed it other than now. No offense, April.”

But there’s no real bite to his words, not in the way his lips are curling around a knowing smile, or the way April’s bumping his shoulder with his.

He pulls his hand away with a laugh. “Ha. Leo’s gonna have a field day when he wakes up and finds out I did it on the first try. By accident, too.”

And for an icy moment, Mikey wonders if that when should have been an if. But it all bleeds out, warmth pouring in when Raph barks a laugh and grabs his hand a second time, giving it a tight squeeze.

“Yeah he is,” he tells him, eyes sparkling. Then, his voice goes soft. “And he’ll be proud too.”

And Mikey’s chest aches again, but this time, it feels a little less terrible. And he just can’t wait for his brother to wake up, just so he can tell him all about it.

#farmhouse arc my beloved <3 #thank you anon for the prompt :3 #this was fun to write! i wanted to do something different so i hope this was good #ask #anon #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt michelengalo #tmnt

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humornaut · 1 year ago

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My Journey with Omori

Hey everyone. Rather than my usual analysis-type posts, this is going to go into my own personal experience with Omori. I've kind of wanted to do this for awhile, because I feel like I have a lot that I want to say about this game. This post is going to have major Omori spoilers. I will also be going into some criticisms of the game (though not particularly heavily). This one will be a long one.

My Background

This might not be something that people care about, but I feel it is important to start with my life situation at the time I discovered the game.

In 2020, I graduated from college with a degree in game design. If you remember 2020, you can probably guess where I'm going with this. Everyone left for spring break, and the day before we were supposed to come back, they extended break by a week. Then, at the end of that additional week, classes had gone fully remote. My three roommates at the time never really came back to campus, and I finished out the lease alone. I never got to do any kind of internship, and I didn't get a graduation ceremony. I really didn't know what I was doing with my life, and finding a job in the games industry seemed impossible. So, I made a decision to move in with my aunt and work at an insurance agency. I was states away from anyone I ever knew, working in an industry wholly unrelated to what I had just dedicated years of my life to studying, but it was a job.

I wonder a lot if this was the right call. At the time, it seemed like an obvious decision, but now, I'm even more unsure of my skills when it comes to breaking into the games industry, and working 40+ hours a week can really sap your motivation when it comes to personal projects.

As the world opened back up, I started hearing from all my friends less and less, and life really started getting monotonous. Living alone is expensive, and I'm not good at opening up to new people.

Last November, by chance, a comic by twitter user Shrimperini appeared on my feed (it's still the pinned tweet on her account if you want to see!). One thing led to another, I saw some more positive reviews of the game, and I ended up picking the game up on Switch when I saw at on sale at a Best Buy.

Now, anyone that knows me could tell you, this isn't the type of game I usually play. I've always gravitated towards things like strategy games or rogue-likes. I only really stray from that in a few cases, whether it's to play a game with my friends, or just a game that I've had a long-standing connection with, like Pokémon. I did play Undertale and Deltarune (and loved them!), but overall, this type of game was not one that I typically went out of my way to play.

Also important: I've never interacted with any fandom in the way that I do with Omori. You can trawl through my Twitter, you won't find much of me talking about ships or obsessing over details until I started talking about Omori. All this is to say: Omori was a bit of a first for me on a few different levels. So, let's get into my actual journey with the game.

The First Playthrough: The Sunny Route

I unfortunately already knew a few details about the game going into things, but nothing that was too big of a spoiler. Something that I think gets overlooked is how great Omori's prologue is. In my opinion, the first night in Headspace is the best night in Headspace, bar none. It perfectly sets you up for what the game's going to be about, and I want to talk more about that later, because I feel that it really shines on later playthroughs.

Based on what I said about my background, you can probably guess what I'm going to say. Sunny's story and personality resonated heavily with me. At school, I was always the quiet one, just kind of following what my friends wanted to do until I started coming out of my shell a bit later on. Faraway is very similar to the town and suburb that I grew up in, and I know that many people feel the same way. Walking around Faraway felt like walking around my own home town today, years after almost everyone I knew back then has moved out and started their own lives. I mean this literally, as well, since I started playing this game right around American Thanksgiving, so I actually was back in my home town. It's nostalgic in a way, and I think that that is a major strength of the game.

I also do want to say, that while a Kel/Sunny comic is what introduced me to the game, I mostly assumed that it wasn't actually a canon ship. What I didn't expect was for the game to actually depict a close male relationship that does border on romantic in its presentation, which made those opening transition scenes of Sunny and Basil so interesting (as well as Basil indirectly calling Omori cute during the flower meaning segment), though I do want to talk a little bit more about that later.

From there, I feel that my experience was a lot like most people's first time with the game. I got to experience Faraway, then tried to rush through Night 2 of Headspace without paying much attention, so that I could get back to the real world plot. I didn't pay much attention during Sweetheart's Castle, and it's already-commented-on gameplay drag issues felt exacerbated by the fact that I just wanted to get on with it.

Real world day 2 happens, I got to meet Hero in the real world, Basil gets pushed into the lake, etc, etc. The shroud has started to lift on what's actually going on here. The North Lake segment got me ready to figure out what was actually going on, but first: Last Resort and Humphrey.

It was around this time that I began wondering if there actually was any kind of gay subtext actually going on. Of course, I had seen the Lost Library entry for the ride home from the beach, but as I descended into Sunny's subconscious, the way that the game started talking about Basil took on a much different tone. I got to the Branch Coral, and listened to it talk about how Sunny and Basil are connected by a "string of fate". This immediately set off some alarm bells in my head. A lot of debate has been had about this line, but for me personally, even if a string of fate isn't always romantic imagery, it certainly is most of the time. Seeing it written in the game (as something that Sunny's subconscious is saying, no less) completely had me reconsidering if there was a connection, which I hadn't really thought about since Basil's disappearance. I thought about the photo album, and how well Basil is treated in Headspace, and it just had me thinking.

I got through Humphrey, finished up the side quests that I still had, and it was time to start Black Space. Prior to that, however, Stranger lead me through Basil's garden once again, going over the flower meanings. I took note about how the meaning of sunflowers, as it was the first time I made the connection about Sunny's name and Basil's meaning for them (plus him literally always facing Sunny in several scenes lol). And then there was what Basil said about white tulips.

Being honest, it was difficult for me to interpret Basil as not being in love with Sunny after that, and Stranger's dialogue in some of the Black Space rooms really cemented that for me.

Black Space as a whole left me extremely intrigued as to what the plan was. The way it ended really left me in suspense for what was really going on. How did it all relate to what happened to Mari? I had already assumed at this point that she had taken her own life, due to some of the imagery. But what else was going on here? I didn't exactly think the game was going to veer back from being a horror title to turn into some kind of dating sim, but it was clear to me that Basil was involved with some other secret.

In a reversal of what I had expected of the game up until this point, I found it difficult to care about the real world plot of the game during day 3. It didn't help that it felt like a rushed resolution of the Aubrey plot, and I felt like I was simply going through the motions. I still have no idea how I'm supposed to interpret the key in the treehouse and how it got there, and it felt a little aggravating that plans were being made between Aubrey and Hero to include the hooligans next time, while Basil himself was still locked in his room.

So then, the truth sequence. It completely blew away my expectations for what the game was saying, and recontextualized so much of what came before it. Sunny had done something awful by accident, and Basil had done something awful to protect him. That last "Do you want to save Basil?" really hit me hard. I hadn't felt so part of the game until this moment. It was like I was Sunny, and I was mulling over whether or not I forgive Basil for the horrible situation his actions put us both in. The stakes are high, because it's clear that something bad will happen to Basil if I don't. I didn't actually know it at the time, but this is the first time you can actually choose not to save Basil. It's emotional.

And the fight. The way the game creates confusion as to what is actually going on between Sunny and Basil during it by using vague wording and hallucinations. Basil's desperation and the way his desire to protect Sunny as his "perfect" best friend come together, leading to the fight.

Memory Lane happens, and I honestly didn't think much of it at the time. It was cool to see some of the memories in better detail, but it wasn't as emotional to me as what came before or what will come after.

I would be remiss to not include that we learn that it was actually Sunny that had a crush on Aubrey, and not the other way around. I had already suspected this, based on Aubrey not being close to him in the photo album, along with the Lost Library memory, but I remember thinking it was an interesting choice to have Basil be the one to call it out.

I finished up the game, and it impacted me a whole lot. I wasn't planning on playing the other route at first, as I heard that it was just Headspace and mostly unchanged, and I felt satisfied with the story that I got. I walked away with the understanding that pre-canon, Basil had feelings for Sunny that he likely didn't understand, while Sunny had a crush on Aubrey that he was never bold enough to pursue. How they felt at the time the game actually took place is irrelevant to the story being told, outside of us understanding that these are relatable individuals, and I walked away alright with that.

Of course, after that initial wave of emotions from the ending subsided, I did have some criticisms. Sunny's actual friendship with Aubrey felt underdeveloped, as her behavior both in Headspace and the real world differ so heavily from how she behaves in the glimpses we see of the past. Unlike Sunny's relationships with the others, there's no real unique identifiers other than Sunny's crush. While I would not have wanted the only living female character in the main cast to have been treated as a love interest in both the real world and dream world, it would have been nice if the game gave us a little more than just the swing set conversations, like how we get Kel talking about their late night trips to Hobbeez. In addition, while I understood on a base level that whether or not Basil and Sunny are forgiven didn't really matter to the story being told, not seeing it happen left me feeling a tad empty.

Finally, I felt extremely dissatisfied with Headspace. On a superficial level, I could see that many of the things in Headspace were based on things from the real world, it didn't really feel like it had all that much significance, and the knowledge that it would be more of the same in the other route kept me from playing it. I occasionally visited the subreddit, read a few post-canon fics (Bask in the Sun by Lemari and They say Flowers are Meant to be Sunkissed by Witherdahlia being highlights with very similar concepts), and slowly immersed myself in the Twitter community.

Of course, as time went by, I started making my own interpretations about the game. I got very attached to Sunflower, as I felt the fics were the most interesting to read, and I already held the interpretation that Basil had those feelings for Sunny, even if I didn't think it even mattered if Sunny reciprocated (though I did like talking about their dynamic a lot). In February, Sunflower week happened, and I randomly happened across a tweet that pointed out how Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake in Headspace, with that being relevant due to Basil's birthday being one in which a strawberry cake appears. This blew my mind a little bit, and I made the decision to go back and play the Hikikomori route.

The Second Playthrough: The Hikikomori Route

What I had previously assumed would be a slog through things that I had already done before turned out to be far more interesting. Without the desire to get back to the real world plot hanging over me, I found myself paying a lot more attention to the things that were happening in Headspace. Playing the prologue again was amazing, because I was taken aback by how it practically parallels the entirety of the Sunny route, right down to having to retrieve a stolen item and receiving an eyepatch after the boss fight. Some day, I might break that down further, because it's so interesting. But not today.

Pyrefly Forest and Sweetheart's Castle were much more bearable this time around, because I was paying attention to the little references to Basil and Sunny's friendship in Pyrefly, and the ways Sweetheart's Castle represented a candied-up version of the way that Sunny interprets the concept of "home". This time through Headspace, I saw the very subtle ways that Basil's thoughts "follow Sunny into his dreams". And then, rather than Mari leading you through North Lake, it's Kel. Stranger no longer tells us what Basil thought about white tulips and Sunny, but this time in Black Space, I noticed the implications that Sunny would open up to Basil about his trauma coming from the Lake Incident. It ends with Omori catching Basil in a bridal carry before returning his flower crown.

Whereas the Sunny route was this heart wrenching tale about forgiveness and guilt, and overcoming your fears for others, and how ignorance hurts those you care about the most, the Hikikomori route functioned almost as this deep dive into Sunny's subconscious. The fact that I was playing through pretty much the exact same stuff again but with a completely different perspective kind of blew my mind, and I wonder if this was intentional.

This is all to say that it was around this time that I was once again asking myself the question of if Sunny's feelings for Basil (at least pre-canon) were entirely platonic. Especially as I played the Basil Rush, with its new Tag Photos and Release Energy, I wondered if the game was actually trying to imply a romantic connection. And if it was, why? What purpose would it serve in the narrative for these feelings to exist? How does it relate to Sunny's crush on Aubrey, which surely must've existed in the story for a reason? And how does it all relate to the litany of things Sunny things about in regards to romance?

From a narrative perspective, I could reason that Sunny and Basil having feelings for each other that they could never healthily explore injects further tragedy into the day of the incident and Sunny locking himself away. It provides a context for Sunny's focus on "saving" Basil, both in Headspace and the real world. Basil is undeniably linked to photos and flowers, which are two huge symbols that appear throughout Sunny's mind.

Everything else is stuff I've already spoken about before. The way Sunny treated Aubrey parallels how he treated Basil, and via both things like his fear of spiders, and the way all the foods Sunny appears to know information on how to prepare being associated with Basil, his dynamic with Basil mirrors the way Sunny thinks of Hero and Mari's relationship during Memory Lane.

Playing through the Hikikomori route completely changed the way that I thought about Omori. It was no longer just the story of Sunny accepting his role in his sister's death, I was also now considering the possibility that the game did have a romantic subtext between its two deuteragonists, and thinking about the repercussions of such an idea.

As I completed everything that there was to do in the Hikikomori route, I was immediately taken in with the idea of replaying the Sunny route, with all the knowledge I now had from my previous experiences. First, let me say: Everything that I assumed about playing through Headspace a second time and was luckily wrong about, actually applied on my third run. I did not enjoy playing through Headspace on my third run through, and it will likely be awhile before I do so again.

However, I did start to get an appreciation for details that I missed in my first run in Faraway. Basil's little mannerisms during cutscenes, such as looking to Sunny before responding to Kel's insistence that they were all still friends, as well as the repetition of Sunny backing away from his friends' pain due to his subconscious guilt and fear of facing it, before the final payoff of Sunny choosing to walk back into the center of the room on his own accord during the confrontation with Basil. During Memory Lane, I took note that in the Treehouse Memory, Sunny asked to see one of Basil's pictures that had nothing to do with Aubrey, when previously he only asked to look at pictures of her. There are three different instances in which the player is reminded that Hero and Mari's relationship specifically is one in which they cook for each other specifically, and this information was now recontextualized with the knowledge that Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake, owns a book about tofu (which he hates), and that's not even getting into all the stuff about smoothies in Headspace. Where Aubrey saying that Sunny "would listen to her talk to hours" was once a confirmation that Aubrey and Sunny did have any kind of dynamic at all, I now saw it as a recontextualization of how we were told Sunny interacted with Basil. (also, the "truth" being hidden in the toy chest, which is itself hidden in the closet was certainly a choice /j)

What was the point of all this?

Frankly, it's starting to feel like I'm running out of things to say about Omori. With every post I've made on here and Twitter, there's less things for me to extrapolate from Omori's storytelling, and it's unlikely that we will ever get any more added on to canon. I've grown to love this community, and I think it's so interesting when I look back at how I interpreted the game back in November when I first discovered it, and today. I hope that that will become evident with the mod that I am working on, Senesce.

Obviously, everyone has their own ideas when it comes to what Omori is trying to imply with its characters. Accepting Sunflower as "canon" (in the sense that those feelings do exist in some form) has deepened my love of the game and characters, and I love that other people can have entirely different interpretations and still be just as satisfied with the game! Even if it was all unintentional, I cannot deny that it has lit a fire under me when it comes to game writing.

I desperately want to create a game that has someone at home obsessing over the smallest details to extract meaning in the way I have for Omori. Flawed as it may be, it's special to me, and I'm glad I played it. Thanks for listening to me ramble about it!

#omori #omori spoilers #omori sunflower #sunflower omori #sunnflower #omori basil #omori sunny #why omori matters to me #this has actually been sitting in my drafts for awhile #also ive never really gotten the chance to say #but i actually think it's irrelevant if sunny and basil's relationship would be healthy or not #or if they actually get together at some point #what happens after the credits is pure speculation and not worth arguing about #what's important is how those feelings impact interpretation of the game and its themes/symbolism #(even if I do find it most satisfying to think that they do get together at some point years down the line)#(and find the post credits scene of them smiling at each other to be extremely satisfying due to the idea that regardless of being forgiven #(they at least have each other)#ramble over

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explodingchantry · 5 months ago

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After a few hours into my Dao replay I think I'm starting to really warm up to the gameplay trailer for dav, and indeed its more action oriented combat.

Something I think a lot of us, especially those of us who are a bit apprehensive, are struggling with is that we haven't replayed dragon age in... A while. We have this idea of what it was like but personally my last playthrough was soon after trespasser released. I think we ourselves, unless you're one of the people whose replayed all three games very recently, aren't the best place to decide what dragon age should 'feel' like

Dao is absolutely brilliant and it's combat system is so in depth, the fact that me and a lot of people always complain about how difficult it is just means that it was a system directed towards more strategy oriented people. The little strategy options for the companions, you know the menu not a lot of us use in Dao and da2, where you can tell a companion "if this happens, do that" is a fucking marvel, it's so smart, it's so efficient, it offers so much control it genuinely is amazing. But the thing is that I don't think the core player base of dragon age ended up being the players who used that a ton.

Something you feel a lot especially replaying Dao with modern sensibilities, is sluggishness. You have to remember that it IS a real time action rpg - this means that reactivity is pretty important and even though the other Dao systems make you feel like you're wholly in control, the animations themselves as well as hit boxes and general... Feel of combat doesn't bring that across. It feels like playing an old mmo. It's absolutely fine and expected for its time, but expecting something similar in our modern era is foolish.

If bioware was going to keep the real time fighting, which, I would've been shocked and disappointed if they didn't, they had to make it more snappy and reactive. Furthermore as a bunch of people have pointed out the trailer specifically shows rogue which is THE most snappy bouncy class there is, at least with the double dagger. But we still have our pause. We still get to tell our companions what to do. And with so much work put everywhere else to "get back to their roots" it would be strange of bioware to completely abandon it just for the combat system

Something that did bother me in the trailer is how few abilities seemed available at one time and also the fact you couldn't see your companions' health bar: it seems they confirmed you can see the health bars on discord, and as for the abilities and the hud... I think it might just be a product of them showing console gameplay, because I saw some Dao console gameplay earlier today and was like. Oh. That looks similar. And there isn't necessarily any worries to have about them choosing to show console gameplay - statistically speaking I'm positive the majority of gamers these days are console gamers, and with how beautiful the game seems I imagine it'll put most computers to their fucking knees, and the amount of people who have access to up to date gaming computers is lower than you think. It makes sense from a marketing standpoint to use console gameplay. Keep hold of your knickers

I've personally no problem with a more stylised approach to the graphics either because I've always been of the opinion that inquisition looks like garbage and it aged even worse than I expected. It's so fucking ugly bro I hate how frostbite engine looked back then it's disgusting LMFAO.

I've even seen people critiquing the look of minrathous even though it's fairly consistent with what we'd seen of tevinter so far... I think people forget that in Dao, dragon age really didn't have as much of an artistic identity as it has now - really Dao in many ways looks like usual your dark fantasy game. So many elements that would become emblematic of dragon age only came in later games. Do I really need to bring up flemeth or the qunari lol, or the many looks elves and their vallaslins have had over the years.

Like dragon age's visual and artistic identity has always shifted with every game. There's literally nothing wrong with that. It's just par for the course course. You can't have a long running series of fantasy games with lore as complex as dragon age without stumbling here and there over such a large amt of year, mediums and teams.

As for the fucking idiots complaining about the game not being dark enough idk replay any of the games for like 5 minutes and then come back. Well maybe not dai that game is boring as hell most of the time but either way dragon age was always silly as hell y'all are so fucking stupid. Go watch game of thrones or something instead

I think I'm saying all that because I've seen a lot of negativity for the sake of being negative. A lot of people went into this expecting to be upset, so obviously they ended up upset. And I know it's so fucking hard: inquisition was already a mess in many ways, most of the original dragon age staff left, there were major layoffs which we should not forget about, the game was restarted I think twice or something, and in general it's had a bit of a messy development. That and the horrors that were me:a and anthem, and of course people wouldn't have faith in bioware. But it's not the first time a game studio went a dangerous path only to have a moment of clarity and come back. I've personally seen it when a few years back devil may cry 5 came out and was the best game in the franchise, going back to its roots and bettering what was already there with bold steps towards modernizing its gameplay, when all fans thought the franchise dead and buried. I want to believe bioware is able to have such a comeback as well.

What is transpiring from many of the articles, from the little tidbits of the staff on twitter, from interviews - it's that there's heart in this. It's that they're trying. They've listened. And maybe I'm just falling for the marketing machine, but I'd rather believe and be disappointed than live with no hope in my heart man. Dragon age is a series that means so much to me. We've waited so long for this. I want this to be something I can love.

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